They're where the beauty is! Ain't no rule says creatures can't play tabletop! "The reader is master of the voyage." - Philip Morrison, "Powers of Ten: A Book About the Relative Size of Things in the Universe and the Effect of Adding Another Zero" (1985) I've done my own research, and you won't believe what I've got to tell you! "He don’t wanna live, he don’t wanna die, he don’t wanna lose and he don't wanna try, he don’t wanna stay and he don’t wanna leave tonight" -Rob Cantor, "Ghost" (2014) "I'm 'bout to end this man's whole career (damn) (what career)?" -Supa Hot Fire, "The Rap Battle Pt. 1" (2011) "I'd better be careful, I'm about to make a second heretic outta you, if you know what I mean." "The universe is constantly in motion - I wonder if it will ever find a comfortable position." -Ashleigh Brilliant "We flip it around for variety. Chaos, control. chaos, control... you like, you like?" -Six Degrees of Separation (1993) Boi-oi-oi-oing! "I put a penny in my pocket, and in a little time, that penny in my pocket had grown into a dime." -Hello Dolly! (2017) "Now, *Tayne* I can get into!" Here they come, unburdened by conscience or soft tissue! No, not that one. "Make your teenagers jealous!" (All look at your suspiciously serious hat.) "Only the dead have seen the end of war" -George Santayana (1922) We are the saluters of lutes. "There is often something very meaningful in people getting together and doing something completely meaningless." -Ashleigh Brilliant Yeah, making a scene with my colubrine, there ain't no way around it. I'll confess, you know, I'm no different. "I grew this! Isn't that wild?!" I don't see what you're complaining about, I've shown mathematically that this is the most efficient layout the fort can have. "You see, college is like taking a step closer to the real world. Kind of like climbing a tree gets you closer to the moon" -The Show With Ze Frank, September 12th, 2006. "Hey, you ever think that maybe we don't even really need these humans anymore? They're just slowing us down!" "How come everyone's so grumpy around here?" "Always handle your record by its edges, or by one edge and the center. Never touch the playing surface (or grooves) of the record." "What possessed me to accept this mission?" he wondered, unaware of the import of his word choice. 🎶In my salon, come gaze upon, my kooky canvas!🎵 "In time, I shall sacrifice my past self to my future self, who shall grant my present self eternal life." "In most nations, the creation of multiple conscious, high-res mind emulations of a single person ('xox ghosts') is illegal. However, simply maintaining one or more backup uploads without running them is not usually against the law. Xox shadows are legal in some countries, illegal in others. Violations are generally either deleted or taken offline and confiscated." -David Pulver (Transhuman Space, 2002). Our squeesh is deleesh! Gotta look out for me, miasm, and I! "The way we see it, the world's all alleys once you get your mind right." You can almost hear the cartoon sound effect when they dink around on those tiny feet of theirs. "As soon as I can find a good position, I intend to take a firm stand." -Ashleigh Brilliant Sometimes, healing leaves us even more powerful. Thy skin changes country and colour, And shrivels or swells to a snake's. Let it brighten and bloat and grow duller, We know it, the flames and the flakes, Red brands on it smitten and bitten, Round skies where a star is a stain, And the leaves with thy litanies written, Our Lady of Pain. -Algernon Charles Swinburne "Dolores (Notre-Dame des Sept Douleurs)" (1866) I want to walk in the open wind. I want to flock like horses do. Want to dive into your ocean. ...Is it chilly out here? "You can really taste the circulating vitamin D!" "You can really taste the circulating vitamin D!" Read more → "It's always Fish Taco Tuesday somewhere!" This team has it all: charmers, entry specialists, analysts, and mus(cle/tel)! "Sure, *you* might find that it's not easy being green, but we're built different." "The dead don't return," they say. Well, certainly not if we can help it! LOOK AT THEM! LOOK DIRECTLY AT THE BLINDING FURY OF THESE ADS! "The indignity! To have been outrun by a tree!" "With you busting their chops and my bypassing their doors, no one can stop us!" "You're calling a propeller biplane a jet?" "Hell yeah." I'm gonna solve all the mysteries! I'm indestructible! Exiting through the gift shop is *so* 2010, after all. "According to all the latest reports, there was no truth in any of the earlier reports." -Ashleigh Brilliant Gain one free attack of opportunity per turn when wielding a bludgeoning weapon. "Sure, the plane's already in the air, but there's plenty of time to finish building the landing gear!" The better to smell our enemies with, my dear. New horse? Bring it here, let's see those teeth. Don't forget: There were multiple French Revolutions to overthrow monarchs, and we're already up to the Fifth French Republic. It's pretty to look at, so surely it must be safe to ingest! (Geez, who put all these labels on this thing?) They say robojazz is all about the lines of code that you *don't* run. If he remains risen for more than three days, consult your exorcist. How am I gonna hold all these eggs?! "Do what you know is right, but try not to get caught." -Ashleigh Brilliant Delicious high fructose corn sweetness. "Everybody's got an angle!" The heretics are looking forward to the feast. I cast a spell on me. 'Cause I'm mine. "Plug me in, coach, I'm USB compatible!" "I’m like the resident bad boy here, I can say whatever I want." Jacob Andrews, "The Most Majestic Creature" (Drawfee, June 23, 2014). The silver lining for a masquerade, which we can't count on elsewhere, is that everyone unmasks at the end. Strange things are ahoof down on the ranch! Time to get out into sunlight and start frolicking! I like my dance partners like I like my house band: Acoustic. I'm sorry to report, Count, that the review board has asked for your human subjects protocol to be revised. "Did you really think daddy could stuff his hog in public and not arouse any criticism?!" "It's not the world that's ending, just one or both of our stories." This is my pie! It was made for me! "Never gets real cold down here. 12.778°C." "Boy, they sure do love to sit up on their tall chairs and do nothing for hours!" -All dogs with scholars for owners No password? No problem! There are no boring numbers, only boring number crunchers. What we gotta do, you see, is just one one of each of the freakiest little guys we can! That'll bring in the crowd! Let 👏 rodents 👏 have 👏 Internet! 👏 Old religions, for a new age of obscurantism and paranoia! "I hope he can see this 'cause I'm doing it as hard as I can." -Ignignokt the Mooninite Everyfroggy brings something new to the table. Got shells so thick, you can't even hurt our feelings! Who can even remember if I hunted you or if your song overpowered me? "When your life is on the line, you want to make use of all your tools." - Miyamoto Musashi, *The Book of Five Rings* (1645), as translated by Thomas Cleary (1993). No need to pay them a salary, they find their snacks along the way! When it seems they're heading for the (final) (curtain), smoking Kools makes worse what ails, (that's for) (certain). Hey, creatures born with natural weapons? Check your privilege. The boxes three with the wind-up key. "We run 'til we drop, baby, we'll never go back!" -Bruce Springsteen, "Born to Run" (1975) Let the bodies hit the dance floor. Watch out, they got a glow about 'em. The blues? No, this is deeper, darker. It's very calm actually, very relaxing. "Please don't tell me to relax - It's only my tension that's holding me together." -Ashleigh Brilliant Young love sure is something to behold! Mother knows meanest. See you tomorrow! These beaks were made for honkin'. And I'm like, I'm better on wheels. Damn right, I'm better on wheels. I could show you what that speed reveals. It's important to give your sharks the breathing room to really be themselves. The head office had prepared some good stuff to fill your head right to the brim! "Oh geez, did y'all just collect my buddy? Am I the last one left?" That means you can make yourself into an even dumber masterpiece! A play in three acts! My thousands of fans who all believe me can't be wrong! "We get some kind of weather here nearly every day." -Ashleigh Brilliant A top vacation spot! (For ruminant herbivores) Turns out, you can only live on a rock for so long. Be especially wary of the library's third leg. "Well, gentlemen, this is quite an historic moment. We're about to step across the threshold of a new era. Space Burial and Resurrection Now." -The Loved One (1965) That's what makes them so dangerous. Whatcha gonna do with all those donks? All those donks dressed up like twonks? Imagine what it will be worth in five years! I can only imagine they're nice people under all that shell of theirs. "A friend under glass stays a friend as years pass!" CONDITION: RED | EMERGENCY | CODE: 102 "We're being issues arms made by the lowest bidder. What were you expecting?" Huge owls are desired by many. This causes a variety of problems. Eat, drink, and be naughty! This green won't Ever all by itself. Vaults of paper, ribbon, and cardboard. Gimme fifty. "Byakhee, byakhee, what must I do, to go for a ride with you?" "Byakhee Byakhee", A Shoggoth On The Roof (2000). Lemme tell you, steppers don't come much higher than these! Just in time to get these wrapped and onto the sleigh! The card(sharp)s know and the card(sharp)s tell! I'll be slipping into dream any moment now! Maybe the real treasures are the foes we bound along the way. "The vintage Furby is good condition and has been tested and is working properly. The Furby's eyelashes have come loose and are being kept with the Furby but are not attached." You snooze, you delay losing by ten additional minutes! "If you've got to go somewhere, then you better go somewhere far." -EL VY, "Return to the Moon" (2015). You're not going to manage a triple double unless you rack up some assists. How'd they get all that pointy into these round shapes?! Descending the segmented spiral. "We're not so different, you and I..." You fools! Did you think you could glimpse the mysteries with *uncorrected vision?!* Together, they fight sleepytime crime. This soft water is delicious, but be a doll and bring me a bottle of some of your hard water next. The Goose, The Swan, And The Birdly. "OK, so we can fit this on the shelf if we move this here and that there and this over here..." That smoke's got me thinking we might need to change some of those plowshares back. "We both want your career to move forward. But why would you expect that would mean a pay raise?" "I've been sleeping a thousand years, it seems." -Evanescence, "Bring Me To Life" (2003) Normally, he's the White Trapezoid, but he doing a big steppy. Seriously, though, why don't we see more chocolate-tea collabs? "Okay. Look. We both said a lot of things that you're going to regret. But I think we can put our differences behind us. For science. You monster." -GLaDOS, <em>Portal 2</em> (2011). "You can rely on nobody, and nobody will always be loyal. Therefore, nobody should be your constant companion." -Zote The Mighty These production lines involve an awful lot of blades. You're not going to find it staying in the office and reading the reports of others. Sadly, flightless birds to still have to pay the shipping costs, since they can't keep themselves aloft under their own power. "Hey, Atropos, you sure you didn't want to go for something a little more intimidating?" "You idiots! We've all got tentacles!" If you see something, say something. (The something is a dog.) Globe Earths, balled fists, let's go! A sweet treat that only gets better with age! In the culinary justice system, some candies are especially heinous. You know, if we don't look at the clocks, we can pretend they're on time! "Two steps in the extrusion process reach temperatures capable of reducing bioburden in the feed." It's like there's a field of little guys, permeating the cosmos... We're more fun than the leopards, too. Buncha sticks in the mud, them. "If you can't keep in sight, at least keep in touch." -Ashleigh Brilliant It's not just inexpensive: It's an investment! They really got us packed in here, huh? Sometimes, they run all through the night until dawn, trying to outrun their dreams. You can fit so many volumes into one of these! ...that's a moray. "Hey, you ever think about how the monarchy seemed like a good idea?" Finally get to the end of the bridge, and what's waiting for you? That's right: Another bridge! We're going to need to synchronize watches, we're way off. Sing, my angels of hairspray! "Dear Diary. The nobility have yet to discover my secret that I am, in fact, not an Asian pear at all, but a humble Golden Delicious." "Europe was then able to get back to the important business in which it has been engaged for hundreds of centuries: Chewing off its own leg." -Harlan Elison, from <em>Mindfields</em> (1993). Past the ice, it's ten times as nice! "I was born hungry." -Ashleigh Brilliant Sometimes, it be entirely the brain that make be snakes. "It results from the encounter!" ...Perfection. What were you expecting? A happy ending? Chew on this! Good heavens, it's all spilling forth, isn't it? Have you spilled your share of ink today? Please put your whole ass into this escapade, if you don't mind. Better keep writing, you're going to need another couple chapters to adress the remaining loose ends... We're just incredibly comfortable right now, what's going on with you? With the record selection and the mirror's reflect, imma fighting with myself, oh oh! "I know who I really am, but I'm keeping it a secret from myself." -Ashleigh Brilliant "Let's see how strong your bones are after I'm done with ya!" "That's why we're so excited to partner with Ground News™." Compared to this bunch, the bumblebee seems downright plausible! The galaxy is, well, I guess the best you can say is that it's not technically at war. Every means of locomotion is permitted, nay, encouraged! On the face of it, there's really only two sides to this one. "Still too soon, buddy, still too soon!" "I have a message! It is that someone in your neighborhood likes to feed the crows." A multi-purpose greeting card configured to read, "Let me know if you are actually an unfeeling robot." "I try to serve life, but you only seem to want to destroy it." Eat, drink, and be welcome! "So that when the moment comes, I can say I did it all with love." -"Monument" (Royksopp & Robyn, 2014) The impossible dream of harmonious coexistence. Fire: The most enthusiastic of the elements. You gotta work *with* the updrafts. No point in working against them! "We decided to go for more of a melded style along the ramparts." "What we're working with, they're not strictly speaking *chemicals*." You know what they say, one man's thief is another man's trash collector! "Look, we just need ot be at war with *someone*, who that might be isn't so important." No Link required! We just puff up when we croak, we're not all inflation enthusiasts. "I feel like the heroes were very orb-coded." Dancing on the speakers. Are you peaking with the tweakers? "You know, Frank, this really would be a *lot* easier with CAD software." No acts of persuasive mimicry here, nothing at all to worry about! A multi-purpose greeting card is configured to read, "Peace between cats and dogs!" What do you mean, it's all reflections and refractions?! The forecast indicates we will also be blue in the afterward times. "You'll never get anywhere else if you don't leave if you are now." -Ashleigh Brilliant "Point is, we're at the center, not you!" Where they're going, they won't need eyes to see. Though I sleep no longer, the vision of a city beyond the clouds remains with me still. "It's Deluxe, Son! Deluxe! It's not that hard!" -Deluxe_247 If Utopia is "no place," maybe this is the road to get there? I'll be honest, I've just got the shoot button taped down. It's not so much a matter of creating something that is alive as it is altering a living thing beyond recognition without killing it. "Hmm, I don't know, sounds like a skillet issue." Why yes, we *do* have merch with the logo on it. Hang on, can any of these boats survive the open ocean?! "I can behave normally, but it takes an abnormal effort." -Ashleigh Brilliant Go for it, just splash it wherever. "Haven't you heard? the past is over! And we are the only survivors." -Ashleigh Brilliant This egg has met its end, after all, but the chicken goes on. Don't think for a second that you're coming into this house. Will someone think of this poor woman? She's maintaining her composure but she's also clearly melting. "You have improved beyond all recognition. In fact, I forgot who you were." -Ashleigh Brilliant One plus one plus our prey makes three. After all, the dogs are hot, the ice cream is cold, and we've got plenty of loaves. "Don't you wanna just scoop them up and put them in your pocket?" Welcome to the mediocre cinematic universe. Putting up with him would leave a sour taste in anyone's mouth. What a relief that, in this moment, what we have is one another. I'm going to need you to focus up, Joe. You can't make an industry without breaking a few spirits. "If you got real hair, real fingernails, you got a job, you goin' to school, and y'all don't need nobody to help you handle yo' business, make some noise!" -DJ Kool, "Let Me Clear My Throat (Live)" (1996). The story of the tower's collapse begins at its conception. It's not a real flavor, it's a fiction that someone made up. "What's in it?" "Typewriter ribbon!" -"H.R. Giger At Home," Superego Podcast Thing are heating up and love is blooming! "I swear to God, if you don't do this, I will take your bones." -Angoose, as read by Drawfee in "Drawing Animals Based On Their Skulls" (2021-04-27) You think that's loud? Wait until the square gets cleared. If I'm being honest, the last one didn't so much get away as there just wasn't much left on those bones. There's nothing you can bird that can't be borb. "Hey, will you babysit my Tamagotchi® while I'm away for the weekend? My last one died and I can't go through that again bro." This little note of mine, I'll pass it down the line. Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. What's the matter, can't take a little heat? "What's a' matter? You feelin' yellah'?" "Everyone drifts, all the time! It's impossible to drive straight." -Overdrift (2007) Is someone going to tell him that his horse is made of wax?! Sometimes nothin' is a real cool mask. Maybe try less hard. AM HAPPY. AM IN TROUBLE. NO WAIT, AM HAPPY. "I think you'll find that reports that it is impossible for us to remain airborne on account of the Earth's inexorable pull have been grossly exaggerated!" Hang on, the music of what now? School's out forever. "Don't get well too soon. Your suffering is an inspiration to us all." -Ashleigh Brilliant "Mind if I just hum?" Thing is, there's technically also a last time for everything. And we were both ghosts?! "Prodigal son wants to return to where the dogs play pool." Frank, "Frank" (2014) "SAMUS: Ridley killed my parents. RIDLEY: One time!" -Awkward Zombie (2014-09-21) Take a moment, you deserve it. Think I might need both hands for this one. "If the facts don't support my theory, the facts must be wrong." -Ashleigh Brilliant "So we get funky in the house, you know what I'm saying?" -LL COOL J A justice no less hard for all the softness of its color scheme. And I watched it as it disappeared. This collab knows how to make it train! And there was much rejoicing. You know that he'll be hard (Here he is) Return of the Bard (Once again) Pretty sure it's a skill issue. A sword hath sharpness to slay a savage beast, or butcher innocent folk. "Why did it have to be snakes?!" -Indiana Jones, "Raiders of the Lost Ark" (1981) So many suitors, my heavens, how will I ever choose? "And when I stand on my head, you never react. I can't get you to crack, I can't get you to crack, not one fucking smile" -Veruca Salt, "Stoneface" (1997) "Hey, do you ever get the feeling like maybe there's an imposter among us?" "I don't want a machine to replace me - do you?" -Ashleigh Brilliant What do you mean, it's just painted on?! What do we make in this state? We make money, son! I mean, I tried, but I decided that returning to target owner's hand was the best course of action. Our hero is about to shine out like a shaft of gold when all around it is dark. Why do you think they call all the junk they stuff in there "flyers?" It don't matter where you parade. You better plan for rain, just in case. Enter a world of tiny, iconic delights! "One well-placed bomb could ruin my whole day." -Ashleigh Brilliant More like can't kill the messenger. Too slow, laid low. What better place for it than my vaulted art cavern? Hey, you ever wonder what the aliens find so interesting about about watching us struggle to survive? Can you feel it? Can you feel it? Can you feel it? Behold these modes of transit fit for a rarified heir. Beware those who worship aesthetics but seem to have very little to say of substance. In our defense, we got rich doing it, so how were we supposed to know any better? There's none smaller, quod erat demonstrandum. They're all around us, even now, even though we can't see or feel them. You'll cheam your creezies when you speep our Pestist Grevias! These two really know how to breathe fresh air into their relationship! Looks like we're going to have to take nature into our own hands! Every bnuuy needs some bduuy to love. Not sure that I enrolled in this school to do this, but I guess it's what we're doing! "I could do great things, if I were'nt so busy doing little things" -Ashleigh Brilliant What we gotta do, you see, is build them too big to succeed! Because if not by our hands, and then by whose? They get to hang out and play, and they have lots of friends, but unfortunately we can't go visit them. At first they gathered two by two, then rallied four by four, and finally in a sea of blue they breached the sealed tomb door. This honkin' snoot's a beaut. I'm gonna let it hoot. Wah-wah-wah-wipeout! Y'all ready to form some bonds?! Everything old is new again, so in a way, there's already a preliminary chart of the territory. "I need more time, and I probably always will." -Ashleigh Brilliant Things will work themselves out, no doubt, no doubt. If you liked this word, you're going to *love* that word. For when you need an orb delivered from anywhere on the glorb. "Lord, it's deep, and the sides are steep, and the night are long and cold" -James Taylor, "Down In The Hole" (1991). Brighter than the tallest lighthouse! "You want me to do what? No way, get meow'da here." He sees you. You’ll do this again. "We're thinkin' we might go cruising around later, maybe pick up some 'goyles." Darn it! I was supposed to ger here 10,000 years ago! "That'll be first month, last month, and a security deposit. What, it's not like any of you can afford to own." We cannot now know the consequences of our triumphs. If you need me, I'll be encased in stone. "I'm a needle on a spiral in a groove." -Jethro Tull, "Something’s on the Move" (1979). So perhaps you might consider making a small donation to support a free resource from which so many benefit? "Have you considered changing everything?" As if you thought we could be stopped, or even slowed, by inclement weather. Back to the homestead we go! Don't you dare collect the Hammer Fragments to repair the Ball Hammer. "History records no more gallant struggle than that of humanity against the truth." -Ashleigh Brilliant Love police, I think I'm forming, I'm forming a crush. We'll get along great if you stand *right* over there. "I'm cold and I'm bold and I don't do what I'm told." -Information Society, "Mirrorshades" (1990). I'll have you know that I underwent the ritual, and it ordained me as fit to have only good opinions! There is no need to cry when everybody Hz. Feels like making progress toward the goal is harder than ever. We figured we could storm one last megashroom together, just to cap things off. I could let them, but I'd have to charge. "Want something?" -VHS Head, "Frozen" (2014) Those aboard, at no extra charge, may stay on with us for all remaining stops. "We wanna invite you to go hunt with us." "Some conscious light gets through somehow, yet I fail to notice, then I'm heading for the ground" -BT "Running Down The Way Up" (1999) There's a lot going on, dress warm and keep watch. I hope it is! There might be five minutes in it! "I am afraid of the unknown... and also many parts of the known." -Ashleigh Brilliant Don't given 'em the satisfaction, is how! These dogs do *not* have a job. If you read the fine print, a castle on a cliff is actually required under the terms of the Holy Rome Owners Association. The trick is to work to keep their disorganization from becoming a feature rather than a bug. "Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the window." -Ashleigh Brilliant Don't dream it's clover. Thanks for havarting my back, you're a life shaver! My boots! My boots! My controlling shares for my boots! "Everything must finally fall. In war, or wear away into the ultimate and universal ash, the triumphs, the frauds, the treasures and the fakes." -Orson Welles, *F for Fake* (1973). What you're making in a year, I blow it in a week. In a way, the most powerful sorcery is that which has nothing at its center. Seriously, who forgets a whole island?! If you're just now joining us, this is buffo tenor Ultros, performing the opening number from *De Vermis Mysteriis*. Come on in! The water's cold and under enormous pressure! Love is free. Love is free. Love is free. Love is free. (Ready to kick some ass!) Look to the sky, and you will see, in its vastness, all things. "Just watch me pulling up my socks, and then they get away right out from under me." -Dragonette, "My Legs" Feel like a winner; where air is thinner; take it from me. Rejections by mail don't get any easier when they come from across the veil. A future we can all aspire to: "Become your best self. You can do it. We can help." Nature, uh, finds a way. Quit stalling and get in the sleigh, gramps. There's treasure everywhere! So really, you should be thanking me for all these great gifts. These fun guys are now making all metropolitan stops. We thought today would be a good day for rolling. Poison Dart Froogo is a little bummed to learn they're not the biggest frog in the land. The next big things arises from what came before, even if it need not be of the same stuff. Been a long time gone, Leningrad. Why did Leningrad get the works? Things keep rolling along, but at what cost? Where I'm going, I won't need color to see. This hall of whispers ain't quiet enough for the both of us. They say that creatures can perceive the beings beyond the veil that we cannot. Shuffle the deck, cut the cards, bury the evidence, and throw away the knife. If you don't watch out, there's gonna tamagetcha! Invaders beware: This Kasbah's ready to rock back. Turns out, the world is actually overflowing with things we should be thankful for. I'm as surprised as anyone. Come on, daddy needs another couple hundred tickets. Let's just say there's been some real *combustion* in these internals, you know what I'm sayin'? "It's even more exciting, not being able to see where they lead, don't you think?" It's always brunch somewhere! Her witch hat brings all the dogs to the moors. She could walk them, but she'll stay indoors. The morning air's still crisp, best to keep the java warm. Keep your finger on the X button, this sequence is brutal, and it goes on *forever*! Forgive me. It's not you, nor is it me, it's just autumn. It's a very slow dance, but on a truly grand scale. Three of two of them. Devastating momentum! (Mediocre turning radii) Our geodes runneth over. Oh, him? He's definitely not on the list. Deception is a dish best served by an unwitting mail carrier. "Scum of the Earth, overpaid to rob anonymously from a distance" -Metric, "Doomscroller" (2022). Can't look away, now that they've fallen into orbit. "Open up for me, Max. I've got something I want to play for you." -Barry Convex, in *Videodrome* (1983). From purple timber no good thing was ever drank. We keep it tight, you know? Gotta be there for the wolf pack. Though it be cool, and dark, much grows in the waters of the bog. Fast fashion, you say? Well, they're available for a limited time, I'll tell you that much! It's remarkable what you can turn up when you're a journalist by day. Above us, the celestial fire. Below us, the infernal heat. Creatures with which one might relax/ensorcel. The committee of independent consultants has decreed: It kinda seems like an extra city would just be redundant. "starting to think these maidens are stumbling in soaked through from the rain just to steal my beautiful gowns and homewear are any of you actually lost" -vamprisms, 2022-09-17 🎶If you want to destroy your reason, trace this thread to its origin.🎵 These raptors are capable of velocities their ancient ancestors could never imagine. Not sure how you can be so salty but not salt your password tables. Watch party at our place! We're going to binge Candle Cove! "My boy says he can eat fifty eggs, he can eat fifty eggs." -Dragline, in *Cool Hand Luke* (1967). Remember, everyone, it's about what your embodying, it's about attitude, it's about transformation! Sometimes, it's nice to visit a theme park whose theme is modest sincerity. Cogito ergo that's some people, I tell you what. Cornifer, from Hollow Knight, explores a cave described as "cold, dark, damp, and stinky." Following the upheaval, life must go on. "The biblical Tower of Babel was built so high as to defy understanding. Those who built it began to talk nonsense. The tower could no longer be comprehended. There was simply too much of it." -Jon Bois, "Troy State 253, DeVry 141" a.k.a. "We're Serious About Success" (2017). "I was an animal then. Behind all this, I'm an animal now, and someday, some grim situation or another will, with its claws, steal from me my humanity and leave me for a moment in philosophy a shattering animal. Today, I'd like to hope that's not me. I'm not there. I'm here. I will always be right here." -Tim Rogers, "action button reviews boku no natsuyasumi" (2022). “Sax, who's paying for all this?” Sax tilted his head, blinked. “The sun.” -Kim Stanley Robinson, *Red Mars* I shall stop and think, from time to time, and from the ocean of my mind, I will pluck a memory of you, and smile. Let me tell you, when these gummies hit, they *really hit!* Birk a bork today, and you'll both bark at a berk tomorrow! Why is it that the owner class so frequently don't have any class at all? I hear that there's no comparison, that this is peak duck! I don't know where this idea comes from that we're the quiet types. We're chattin' about delicious mortals all the time! Everything just gets more imposing with adulthood, doesn't it? Next stop: Exceeding 300 kilometers per hour! Look, everyone, I'm sure one of us is going to crack their ICE eventually! All it takes is just one dropship, order yours today! Welcome to the haunted world of HORRIBO. "And bein' the baller that I am, I talk to them; Givin' a damn about them not feelin' my attitude." -Chamillionaire, "Ridin'" Once upon a noontime sunny, while I pondered something funny, written in a quaint and curious book of a romantic strain — while I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, as of some one gently rapping, rapping at my window pane. “’Tis the breezy trees,” I muttered, “tapping at my window pane, only this, the wind's refrain.” It's not just about kaiju; it's about kaijhistory. "Well, it's very simple. See, if you inflate a balloon and seal it, at which point you've got -1 holes..." "There's nothing sexier than giving the last blow to a candle that's about to go out." -I-No, Guilty Gear XX Accent Core Plus R "What the hammer? What the chain? In what furnace was thy brain? What the anvil? What dread grasp; Dare its deadly terrors clasp?" -William Blake, "The Tyger" By land, by air, or by sea, we've got the world covered. "I hope you'll excuse my cheap wit, but the hour is late and it's all I have left." -A humble crow. What better way to honor her contributions than to post via wifi? I'm just coming back from the shops. Hope these supplies aren't too haunted! "I never thought so much would happen that I never thought would happen." -Ashleigh Brilliant Two frogs go on a coastal hike. One is bringing the sense of adventure, and the other is bringing the snacks! And if you can believe it, it's Friday once again, Chère. Those copper-bottoms are no match for our shell-tops. Pikmin! Five of them! A multi-purpose greeting card configured to read, "Hope you had a pleasant recuperation!" Look, Eunice, the company has done quite a lot to wind you up, it's only right that it get the song and dance it expects. She's navigating that tenuous Middle Kingdom between cat girl and catgirl. It's like I've got this whole dense orb on my back! Won't anyone take pity on the burdens felt by the powerful? It's almost as though what the heart wants is not necessarily precisely what the body needs. That your car? Pretty nice, I love convertibles! Look, the expected value of going again is infinite. So hit me. Hit me. Hit me. Within these pictures, we will no doubt find the hidden secrets that will reveal the identity of the murderer! (grumbles) "Goddamn group projects, how come I'm always the one picking up the slack at the last minute?" This is the luckiest thing to happen to Mazura since he got kicked out of Parapa Palace. If you think she's going to make a splash when she hits the waves, wait until you see how big a splash he makes! Sure, the sun's out and life feels easy, but do you ever get the feeling that the shallows are getting less shallow all the time? I heard that, back in the day, they'd put a whole sausage in your burger if you asked them! "You say you can't stand me when I'm quiet, and so I shot you with my silence. I can't get that trumpet out of my head." -Lykke Li, "This Trumpet In My Head" (2008). "Who do I know this man?" -The hosts of Drawfee I'll keep them close so I'm never alone! "Why be among the last to do what's right, when you can be one of the first?" -Ashleigh Brilliant Make your immortal rodent happy. Give her the cheese she has relied on for over 75 years of Constant Nutrition®. Time to get out from these narrow confines and stretch our limbs! Discard your ideas, replace them with orbs, for a spherical future! Eggbug's doing the best they can, but let's just say it's a lucky thing they can fly! RIP to Laurent de Brunhoff (1925-2024), who carried the torch for a father taken from him far too early. These sculptural creations are ready to make some mayhem, and are also immune to critical hits! What reason do you have to doubt? Have you ever met a pig who tells lies before? "What do we make? Motherfucker, we make *money!*" As everyone knows, benevolent clowns favor bicycles, while malevolent clowns have all flocked to these new "motor vehicles." You know what would really get us ready for out astral raids? *Costume jewelry!* Watch as I inject this code straight to its root. Don't count this silly little mouse out just yet! Even so, it's going to be *quite* a climb, with some gnarly battles along the way. If that girl's going to keep her hearts full, she'd better use a spin attack! People sure seem upset about something on campus, but so long as I've got my barrier up, I can ponder my orb in peace. A businessman is beset by sexy wingsuited beachgoers with knives! This is making everyone else nervous. Whatever they're doing, it's not thinking. If it wasn't for the certification, you'd never even know the place was haunted. Bulma is excited to reveal the DBZ Spacelab to the audiences of Earth. They say that by the time you make it to the deep end, visibility goes down to zero! Despite early accusations that the hare had thrown the race, a deeper investigation revealed a more complicated web of culpability. I can fix him in post. Things aren't going so hot for these amateur rocketeers! Just one problem! Someone put all the racing stripes on sideways! Oh my goodness! Do you mind? Can I get a picture? We need to claw back these resources before nature does it for us! The stripes make it hard for you to tell how many of them there are. At whose behest are the cities remade? At yours?! Ponder it, won't you? Ponder the eternal and beautiful orb, seen across so many orders of magnitude. This looks like a job for Claude Chappe, inventor of wireless long-distance semaphore! "Just make sure you don't leave this one out overnight like you did your last bike." Cut through the air like a hot knife through butter with these fashionable, aerodynamic helmets! Bears shouldn't walk on sunshine! Not like this! Think what you will of these cats, they've certainly thought a great deal about you. If enough of us force ourselves into this box, you won't even be able to tell there's an echo! Raise the iron curtain on the first of many acts, but never lower your guard! "Distance doesn't really make you any smaller, but it does make you part of a larger picture." -Ashleigh Brilliant Who needs spinal column when you've got all this brain power?! Why work together to accomplish something, when you can shun the company of others and complain to strangers? "Spring has sprung! And all the lovers knowing that spring has come!" -Terry Taylor, "Spring Has Sprung" (1997). When the worshipers of the Golden Capybara came into contact with the worshipers of the Golden Eggbug, the Golden Horde was born. Maybe she's born with it. Maybe she knows some really talented craftspeople. My health is assured! I'm gonna live forever! I shall remake this world in my image. Starting with this tree that I shall punch. "Are these dreams a clutch of stifled memories? Was there something in my mind? There are things they say man was not meant to know... Is this shadow out of time?" -The Darkest of the Hillside Thickets, "Some Things Man Was Not Meant To Know" (2007). Every turn you make, you're heading downward, and yet there's never any bottom. You can't surprise me! My vision's periphery all the way round! "Come closer. Closer." (Whispers in your ear) "Now fight me like a man." "Dinosaurs are not dead! Dinosaurs are life!" "Now, you say you spell 'slaadi' with two As? Fascinating." My journey shall take me beyond the shore, beyond the sea, beyond even the sky itself. Why go to work when your place of work can come to you, direct as the crow flies? Guess I'll wait here until someone restarts the level. Vee are going to PUMP YOU UP! "Sinuously erect?" Looks, *New Aeon*, you said it not me. "Did you think such a treasure would have only one protector, waiting around bored and alone for you to blunder in and take it?" I didn't give my heart to a rubber wasp, so much as have it stolen. From the north to the south to the east to the west! Elasmobranch fish are the boss and the best! It's the first of April, and you know what that means! That's right, FISH, FISH, FISH! They're the reason for the season! These ladies aren't going anywhere. It is the world around them that will change. Reach for the top with the flats of your feet! Look, all I'm saying is that we're never going to run out of space up there. No? Look, do you want to get into the Field of Reeds or not? "Words are a wonderful form of communication, but they will never replace kisses and punches." -Ashleigh Brilliant Don't cross these cats, lest they cross you. WARNING: Improper use may cause a hazardous condition. Do not top off. Teach a monkey to shoot, and they'll paint on a grimmer, grander canvas for the rest of their lives. The streets of the old city are teeming with schemers, miscreants, and those just trying to get through the day. Which of of the sky's faces will it turn towards us tomorrow? I touched the giant geodesic orb at the American Pavilion and all I got was this self-referential chost. It's a tough market out there, no horsin' around permitted. This couple of aces doesn't get their rocks off like an ordinary couple. A place for every color and every color in its place (not you, pink). "I'm addicted to shiny things," they said, as they both reached for the lizard. When the trees are under the spell of winter's anesthetic stupor, we teach the blade-bearers how they may be safely diminished. These troublemakers are about to blow their tops! Things are gonna get hot! This motley crew of brash trend-setters are making their way downtown the way *they* would prefer to travel. Some voids swallow the light that shine on them, but others wholly deflect it. The centaurs have been over this before, but sometimes the spirit of jazz is too strong to partake in archery. Fortunately, someone brought a spare bow. "In an orderly world, there's always a place for the disorderly." -Ashleigh Brilliant In the future, music will consist of food sounds, and be prepared by those no longer among the living. The spirit of the millennium is alive in the mix of Rs and Bs. "If you think about it, Platinum, the whole rest of the world is Sheep, isn't it?" Republic Space Force: The Wings of Hollandaise "You never know when you're making a memory." -Rickie Lee Jones. "I went to see a psychiatrist. He said, 'Tell me everything.' I did, and now he's doing my act." Richard Prince. A lizard prince sits in a library, reading, wide-eyed. If it were Ours, We'd make it much bigger. This crew's so gently pliable, they've not got one bone between them. A lancer pilot sits atop a stone wall. Ahead, a pastoral landscape of rolling farmland. Behind, a darkened industrial hellscape. All the armaments known to the artist that are mightier than the sword. "When asked by a noted art scholar the appropriate distance from which to stand when viewing his magnum opus plainly entitled Loss, Tim Buckley famously responded 'What? Fuck You!' and banned me from his forum" -Hareton Splimby These feathered fellows bring the "smash" to "smashing the chains of the oppressed." Food fights: Questionable. Kitchenware fights: Unconscionable. Are you telling me that cats dressed as finely as we should feel hunger? Preposterous! Film's future is so bright, we've got to wear shades! A charging armored knight is no match for a nude longbowman whose aim is true. "When all other means of communication fail, try words." -Ashleigh Brilliant Sure would be a shame if we took these, the only remaining Talismans, into the Valley with us! A multi-purpose greeting card configured to read, "The animals will feel an overwhelming peace descend when you are around." Be grateful! The seasonal staff have been working through the night to lay out the white carpet for you. Two test tubes, and within them, two individuals. Their respective genders are not for others to decide. "To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and, whatever you hit, call it the target." -Ashleigh Brilliant A mountain guide stands near a warm cabin and points across a vast expanse of snow at a shimmering peak. I dunno, if it doesn't, can you *really* say you're living the dream? "Tutto quello a cui riesco a pensare è prendere altre patatine!" -Every seagull in Venice, probably. Together, these two owls break the law to get justice. Ah, Paris. City of love, city of cake. To go on this journey, goat north. What do the acoustic guitar, the electric guitar, the mandolin, and the fiddle have in common? Sicks shreds. Check out the eyelashes on this one! Just don't step into the circle. It would be best if you simply do what these giant women say. These bugs are some next-level moon fanciers, so they deserve nothing less than The Moon, fancier. Four intimidating figures, each a force to be reckoned with, indicates the object of their sinister ambitions. Who keeps so many birds in boxes?! Sunset with the girls. What's not to love? Behold the future conveyances of ages past! The moon is not a place for people. It will never forgive these people for trying to be Selenites. One of these bozos show their face, and you're getting that *special* boss music! Ladies! Now available in blue. The jeans are from grandma, the Nintendo is from Uncle Red. Beneath the city, the harbor. Beneath the harbor, a sleepy community and fish. Beneath that community, a friendly slumbering mass. A woman, dressed warmly, gathers some flowery sprites in from a garden overtaken by frost. See how they sparkle, see how they shine, see how you're drawn from yours into mine. A shady ne'er-do-well pulls himself from the ocean only to discover more than he bargained for. Look, I'm just saying, these creatures are, like, *all wing*, know what I mean? A duel is when two people agree that the other person dying is more important that keeping oneself alive. Crimson acid can hear what they're saying to her. Beneath the canal, and deeper out beyond the harbor, there are things in the water. "Take this milk. Why do we drink *cow* milk? Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said, 'I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these things when I squeeze 'em!'? Isn't that weird?" -Calvin & Hobbes, 1993-06-14 Stripes, checkerboards, it's as plain as black and white. It's a chimeracle! You know what would look great in this untamed landscape? A housing development. Oh, they laughed at me at the academy, but who's laughing now?! Just *every* kind of animal, all hanging out together! Let me introduce the team: The Muscle. The Bankroll. The Fixer. The Infiltrator. The Grand Palace is getting positively mobbed by flying aircraft. The aftermath of deuterium and tritium loving not wisely, but too well. "There is no joy more intense than that of coming upon a fact that cannot be understood in terms of currently accepted ideas." -Cecilia Payne-Gaposchkin If you do it with a twist. Yes, artistically. Can't hardly ponder 'em all, there's so many orbs out here! Sure, these reptiles can get flat, but they're flexible. What other other shapes would you like them to make? "The name of the story will be Time, but you must not pronounce its name." -Robert Penn Warren Surely reading all this trashy gossip isn't bad for me! Don't get it twisted, the bozo on the horse knows what he did. Emmy Noether, iconic physicist and mathematician, was operating on a whole different level. The material world is behind you. Ahead is the world of spirits. All! About! Bees! A feast fit for one or more rodents! We greased the rails at the station terminus, and you won't *believe* what happened next! A squeezebox, two flutes, and *three* stringed instruments?! Now that's what I call a party! It's November, and all around, the natural world is settling into its slumber. Say 5 degrees by the next 100 years and it sets the world on fire. You think the people aren’t just going to sell the Earth and move? A salamander fires an alcohol-based superhero out of a cannon at William Shakespeare. You know, like you do. A bunch of beaky busybodies band together. Long after the collapse of the imperial core, a long and cryptic shadow is still cast by its ghosts. A man and woman ponder an ord, within which is an alien who ponders them back with an order of its own. From the beyond, further orbs, and further pondering of this pondering. What more does a witch need than the Moon, the stars, an orb, a tower, and ten or so animal companions? "In the final analysis, everything depends on everything else." -Ashleigh Brilliant A macaw, a parrot, a crow, and a raven walk into a bar. The bartender looks up at them and says, "What is this, some kind of chost?" In the abyss, a face. Upon the face, sweet honeyed mans. The salt is implied. Mary Anning (1799-1847) was one of the great paleontologists of the 19th century. Food is broken down into smaller pieces through chewing (mechanical digestion), while the extensive process of chemical digestion begins. As food is chewed, saliva is produced and mixed with the food. The saliva contains enzymes, like amylase and lipase, that begin to break down carbohydrates and fats. Look, it's just a bunch of little guys! They don't have top-shelf gear, leave 'em alone, don't worry about it! Have you considered... the cheese unknown to science? Vaccines make you figuratively (literally?) demonproof. Yellow his room, with a new yellow curtain, and two yellow eyes, and everything is jaune for him. A bipedal cat, a degenerate, and a two-faced scoundrel welcome you to a world of illusion. Team Rocket takes a tumble from a castle into the trash. This little sprawling gloom, she's gonna let it loom. In a state of nature, nobody knows you're *Canis lupus familiaris*. Now, all is dark, and we may let the strings sing to those beyond the veil. It's autumn, and what better time to share our reflections with one another? Look out everyone, Drawfee is being horny on main again, and the community is *wound up*. Two beaked warriors with blades drawn are ready to protect a beaky baby. A bad day for small boats out on the big, big ocean. For thousands of years, cats have had homes. Now, they have demands. A salmon is dead, and the culprit has been identified by a witness. The powerful gather in secret to toast their unassailability. Scavengers gonna scavenge. So yeah, mind if I grab a couple fries? A multi-purpose greeting card configured to read, "The pets are happy for your safe return." Bespectacled British scholarship is no match for theropods! Nothing to do on a rainy day but take it in stride and dress appropriately. Cube. Pyramid. Sphere. Hexagon. Crescent. Perfection. "The triffids are coming! The triffids are growing! The triffids are killing!" Three imposing figures consider their respective blades. "If we all work together, we can totally disrupt the system" -Ashleigh Brilliant. A pink zebra is looking to get a trio of animals drunk; only the one with the worst judgment is interested. The Great Wheel is the hottest date spot for singles in all of Paris. Princess Zelda is very unimpressed by this clown's Android. An antelope has the undivided attention of seven dogs. Space bear was promised space whales, and boy are there space whales! Walk slowly through the forest, for it is full of resting creatures. Imagine, if you will, a field with every kind of flower. Lady in stone, her crew made of bone. A stretch of ocean separates the ambitions of the explorers on the left from the predations of the pirates on the right. You can really feel the notes of regret and lament as it goes down. These dinos are *very* cool. It's hot in this desert, it's boring, and it's time to go home! The future corpses of America face down the power behind the throne. The fruits of the past are delicious today, the fruits of today are delicious forever. These cats are cross, so leave 'em be. Warning: Coffee may be the brutal, searing temperature of the sun. What if praying mantises, only Byzantine? Such meat and cheese that you'll think you've become titled royalty. WereGarurumon se gare sur La Rue de la Gare, aux ecart de la rousse avec la roue dans la route. These pups don't run! A pair of rabbits find themselves way off the agreed-upon route. "According to the latest official figures, 43% of all statistics are totally worthless." -Ashleigh Brilliant. Three royals ladies, three noble creatures. Loose lips cost souls. A supergroup over 400 years in the making. A group of 19th century women paint a sitting model. Pigeons are very fine birds, but please appreciate them respectfully. An unfortunate king drowns as a snake and an angel look on in alarm. These junkyard felines just might have designs on some of your treasures. Three performers make music for you across the wires, and into your ear alone. The next move you make could be your next. Tintin is threatened by an unnaturally big spider. Yo, listen up here's a story about a little guy that lives in a stone world. Cats inspired by box chart a course to become box. Truly, it's good to be alive. An especially fresh fortress is appreciated more by its onlookers than by its inhabitant. Ooh, let's slip that gap! A star-struck owl gazes into the vast unknowable depths beyond the atmosphere. A trio of big fans. Hell is empty, and all the bastards are here. "After the last sixty million years, I suddenly feel very tired." -Ashleigh Brilliant Folks with skin untouched by the sun. Various cards, blank in one way or another. A celebration of NASA computer Katherine Johnson. Crowd around the scrying pool, you're not going want to miss the preview of next week's episode! Some round, chill friends soak in the sunshine. "Please turn down the volume or play something other than Drake." When three clocks disagree by this much, best to call it a day after lunch. A royal crow announces, "Hooray! A brand spankin' new place to work!" A dog is astonished. The sages agree: Ancient Egypt is pretty cool. Now is the springtime of our mild affect made glorious summer by these daughters glam. Don't rate this sports car in terms of horsepower, but rather in terms of cow power. Orange you tempted by this dizzying cornucopia of vices? Even a flat Earth resides in a vast and voluminous universe that is full of wonders. Have you remembered the moon today? Link meets his match in the Sword Hoarder. "We've got to build our life on new foundations. We must get back to primeval integrity." -Eugène Ionesco, 1960. "That is a beautiful occupation. And since it is beautiful, it is truly useful." The Little Prince (1943), on the subject of The Lamplighter. Just a whole bunch of little guys! "It's strange, but wherever I take my eyes, they always sen things from my point of view." -Ashleigh Brilliant Two onlookers witness slowpoke, painted liked one of their French girls. Two string-instrument artists struggle with and dwell on their art. Mazeppa regrets riding bareback in the company of much wilder ruffians. The feeble scribblings of humanity are no match for the combined efforts of the flora and fauna. Got a secret. Can you keep it? Swear, this one you'll save. This place is just chock full of dogs! The month of June is a time for beautiful flora. Few people today realize that King Charles the First had specialized in dual-wielding. Things are getting hot, and some foundations are starting to crack. Over a dozen entirely normal armchairs. Nothing to worry about. The desert is full of strange and wondrous visions. I'll cut more off than a nose before I'm done with you. Jack's lucky chucks attack Waluigi's semi-wahtomatic wahndgun. "It’s not the job of the artist to give the audience what the audience wants. If the audience knew what they needed, then they wouldn’t be the audience. They would be the artists. It is the job of artists to give the audience what they need." -Alan Moore, 2007 The Great Telescope of Birr meets the telescopes of the future. "Don't do something we're both going to regret." The hills are alive with the sound of ravenous, toothsome, flowering plants. Blind albino eggbug, ravenous, cloaked in a darkness never once touched by sunlight, must attack each turn if possible. Ain't no rule say that dogs can't take baths. Behold some freaks who always thinks with their tentacle ganglia. The museum of the French mint provides a showcase of the cheddar them French been gettin' for two millennia. Where'd you get those creepers?! Think about it. Have you ever *seen* your skull? Or anyone else's, for that matter? "Yes, but you're taking the universe out of context." -Ashleigh Brilliant What girls want: Trash & Cats. "Did you know? It is impossible to outrun your own reflection." -Celeste (2018) These boys done been kicking your ass so hard, their shoes wore out! An array of threatening mirrors shine back to you the things you fear to see. A delicate boundary between worlds, but doom awaits those who believe their love will carry them across its threshold. "Normal times may possibly be over forever." -Ashleigh Brilliant Few can deny that cats are miniature demigods, albeit with quite constrained empires of influence. Various lights shine coldly in the dark, but do not assume that anyone is home. "There's freakin' cats everywhere, dude." -Jacob Andrews Betray your tyrants and choose violence. "Did you know? Most climbing mishaps occur due to exhaustion. Remember to take regular breaks!" -Celeste (2018) This ad dares to ask: What is Napoleon... was a refrigerator? An array of vices are laid out before you, ready to take you to the stars. A team of horses mill restlessly at the edge of the world. "All the evidence concerning the universe has not yet been collected, so there's still hope." -Ashleigh Brilliant Wake up. An eye is upon you, staring straight down and keenly through, seeing all that you are and everything you can never be. "One life is worth as little as any other." -Power, Chainsaw Man (2022). On behalf of Battle Mountain's mayor, Isabelle is excited to welcome you to the neighborhood! Link is armed with lon lon milk as he makes his way through woods soft and silent. A gaggle of clowns gather, as if to say, "There is no out there. There is only in here." The Knight brandishes its nail as it is borne by the Last Stag into the deepest, buggiest corners of Hallownest. This is a tribute post in honor of Grace Hopper (1906-1992). Auber on fiddle, K. K. Slider on guitar, Snake on flute, Turtle on drums, Oryx on lyre, Prizmatik on pipes, with vocals by Cool Cow. In the mind of the creature, fly away from here, from this human cognition to the Umwelts that are near. "I'm now making myself as scummy as I can. Why? I want to be a poet, and I'm working at turning myself into a seer. You won't understand any of this, and I'm almost incapable of explaining it to you. The idea is to reach the unknown by the derangement of all the senses." -Arthur Rimbaud, 1871, as translated by Graham Robb (2000). The Fish of April swam all the way from France to bring you this apology bouquet. "Oh wad power the giftie gie us, to see oursels as others see us!" After successfully playing the long game, the roiling darkness above is commanded to produce a bolt of elemental lightning, bestowing power unto Long Marty. Three women, accented in gold, present their respective trigrams of power. Three buggy judges stand before you, prepared to judge whether you be bug enough. Are the arms I'm supposed to take up against a sea of trouble... the very arrows I've already had the fortune of receiving? "I have just discovered the truth, and can't understand why everybody isn't eager to hear it." -Ashleigh Brilliant A multi-purpose greeting card configured to read, "I will eventually invent a time machine." "I mean, you're not doing it now, either." You don't know what you ask, traveler. My spiciest takes will kill a dragon, let alone a host. You'd better go to a guest that shares milder takes. Several minds are blown, either figuratively or literally. "By using your intelligence, you can sometimes make your problems twice as complicated." -Ashleigh Brilliant A couple of sketchy characters find their way to the far side of the moon. Three dogs in a circle greet one another. Hop in your time machine and come to the Bad Apple, serving customers from 2011 to 2012. A wolf is alarmed to learn that this fluffle of rabbits is much spikier than they had anticipated. The tripartite faces of slumber, the boy, the bear, and the forebearer. A parade of blacks, from gray to black, are scrutinizing you with yellow eyes. "You can’t deny this song is actually a banger." "It is unbelievable that this stubborn darkness, this eternal eclipse, this flaw in geometry, this eternal cloud on virgin truth can be endured." -Farkas Bolyai, c. 1825. In case of rampaging wall emergency, break Aleph. "Nonetheless, collectively these results offer a clear conclusion: A large portion of replications produced weaker evidence for the original findings despite using materials provided by the original authors, review in advance for methodologi- cal fidelity, and high statistical power to detect the original effect sizes." -Open Science Collaboration, 2015 The look of ire (that's the look, that's the look). “They are real, and that’s why I will never work out that hard again, because nobody wanted to believe they were real." -Nicholas Cage, 2022 "The Thousand And One Nights is not something which has died. It is a book so vast that it is not necessary to have read it, for it is a part of out memory." -Tim Rogers (2020) quoting Eliot Weinberger's (1984) translation of Jorge Luis Borges (1980). A view from the ocean of the Hale Kai condominium complex, with a hearty salute ready for the next setting sun. It's a cloudy day, but this kitty's not going to get caught unprepared. Swan atop the battlement, Goose down on the pavement. "You're having delusions, Jobe. Struggle for reason!" -Dr. Lawrence Angelo A winged strawberry floats above a windmill in a snow-blanketed cityscape. Light up the night! There is a city that this darkness can't hide. Nobody can resist your Stromboli dynamism. L’ENRÉGISTREMENT ÉLECTRIQUE LE PLUS PERFECTIONNÉ Foreverer? More like foreverest. I wish I was the animal which fits into that mood. A soul singer is accompanied by attendant musicians. But as the wind changed direction, and the temple band took fire, the crowd caught a whiff of that crazy Casbah jive! Corpora descriptio, corpora delicti. Every zoo is a heavy petting zoo if you're brave enough. A mighty blue whale visits a decidedly uneventful bay. Orbs, orbs in all directions! "Today my mind is concentrating and my body's like an antenna." -Miles Davis, 1989 All soft horses, no straight lines. A multi-purpose greeting card configured to read, "Everyone is delighted that we're bound by that pact." "I accept that the planet is warm, and I rejoice that it is warm." -Mark Steyn (ghoul), 2015. The quest for knowledge is an infinite game played by finite creatures. "It grows harder from here," she warned the cat, but it dropped to the path and walked forward as though to say, 'You are wasting your time.' -Kij Johnson, 2016 "Why'd they make that drawer so hot?!" "Is this the original board game of death?" -Colin Barras, 2020 "When a man tries to see into the distance, what does he do? He narrows his eyes." -Katsuhiro Otomo, 1987 Five enemies defeated and only one round left to defeat the resulting sadness. Smitten lovers paint the town red. A royal crow announces, "Hooray! A significant personal accomplishment!" A dog is astonished. How is an ungulate like a human-powered aircraft? Three eggs. Or is it four? It should be noted that the motor car was also invented by pedestrians. But for some reason the motorists soon forgot about that. They began to run over the meek and mild, clever pedestrians. The streets built by the pedestrians passed into the hands of the motorists. the roads doubled in width and the sidewalks narrowed down to the size of a tobacco wrapper. The pedestrians began to huddle against the walls of buildings in alarm. -Ilf & Petrov, 1962 The reader is commanded to keep thinking. "What we all dread most is a maze with no center." -G. K. Chesterton, 1913 An incredulous bird is surrounded by smaller birds and approximate birds. Two masked and robed individuals recline in a gondola, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." Three wacky ladies are really excited to share their opinions. A variety of grim portents induce a melancholy atmosphere. A portrait of Bonaparte remains trapped halfway between the sketch and the render. The capybara is a singularly luminous animal, and space aliens have concerns. Kings and queens brandish their weapons, but in a sensual way. A single powerful tome can have the weight of a whole stack of fluff. You have been greeted by an inhabitant of the Moon. A man grasps at an arrow in his back, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." The animals are immune to rhetoric. An angel points at a skull, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A multi-purpose greeting card configured to read, "It's time to sleep in to commemorate the New Year!" A man creates/discovers the world, while a giant speaks/is silent. Several unnerving horse-like entities. The hottest take of all time is also literally the most superficial. Seven knives pierce an apple, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." They call me Pitopotamus, my kisses are bottomless. Three amniotes are enthusiastically ready for things to get weird. A train journeys to space, with a speech bubble saying, "AAAAAAA" A multi-purpose greeting card configured to read, "Will you explain your mind?" A postal cat swipes at a postal rat, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A dog dreams, calmly and cozily, of what it is like to be a dog. A harlequin reclines on bench below the stage. Birds are made creepier by their unknowable secrets. Cats playing golf, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A multi-purpose greeting card configured to read, "According to this article I read, 84% of people are thankful for your existence!" A man is nuzzled by a sphinx. Amish women rise a horse-drawn carriage into Intercourse, Pennsylvania, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A cowled girl with a battle axe races across a tennis court to seek revenge as Ayk Danroyd looks on. A shadowy figure beside a table looks out over a desert, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." Cats demonstrate a variety of emotions through pose, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A person holding a brilliant lantern aloft, with a speech bubble saying, "holy crap." Movie poster for Manon Des Sources, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A tuxedoed gentleman appears with a winged alchemical symbol. Eight ants circle on a Moebius band, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A multi-purpose greeting card configured to read, "The animals are eventually going to confirm my suspicions." Opus the penguin tries and fails to fly, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A person stands with their head bisected, with a speech bubble saying, "holy crap." A green monkey clutches his bananas, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A multi-purpose greeting card configured to read, "It's time to perfunctorily send a card for Halloween!" A giant squid with a chicken's head attack's attacks fictional submarine The Nautilus, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A wanderer stands above a sea of fog, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A man crouches in order to demonstrate to a dog how to defecate. A surfer tips off the crest of a wave, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." Dr. Strange is attacked by a monster, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A mysterious woman nibbles at a butter biscuit. A multi-purpose greeting card configured to read, "The animals will reflect on our shared humanity until the world forgets our names." A sixteenth century depiction of an autopsy, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A Hippopotamus cast in bronze, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A wolf looks on. A multi-purpose greeting card configured to read, "Will you accept my emotional outburst?" A man holding a and puppet aloft, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." Various dogs, with an imperative to "Vote Dog." A multi-purpose greeting card configured to read, "Just a friendly note to say how are you!" Two theatrical stars are pressed into a dispute over a crown, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." Saint George, having broken his lance, swings a sword at a dragon, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A Chinese print of a bird, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A multi-purpose greeting card configured to read, "Hope you will have a successful semester!" The Eiffel Tower, manipulated to appear upside-down, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." 
