Thy skin changes country and colour, And shrivels or swells to a snake's. Let it brighten and bloat and grow duller, We know it, the flames and the flakes, Red brands on it smitten and bitten, Round skies where a star is a stain, And the leaves with thy litanies written, Our Lady of Pain. -Algernon Charles Swinburne "Dolores (Notre-Dame des Sept Douleurs)" (1866) The Orals Board is master of the Examination. Only the defending author stands before them. This team has it all: charmers, entry specialists, analysts, and mus(cle/tel)! "I'm worried that those other pups at the dog park are a bad influence." "The indignity! To have been outrun by a tree!" "You're calling a propeller biplane a jet?" "Hell yeah." I'm gonna solve all the mysteries! I'm indestructible! "I'm not just fucking around. I aim to find out." "According to all the latest reports, there was no truth in any of the earlier reports." -Ashleigh Brilliant Did it just... chuckle? How dare you tell me I can't flip this table?! How am I gonna hold all these eggs?! These sun fighbirds sure are brave and fighters! "Do what you know is right, but try not to get caught." -Ashleigh Brilliant A low center of balance, and they got it where it counts. "Plug me in, coach, I'm USB compatible!" Strange things are ahoof down on the ranch! Time to get out into sunlight and start frolicking! I like my dance partners like I like my house band: Acoustic. I'm sorry to report, Count, that the review board has asked for your human subjects protocol to be revised. Sometimes you gotta do it yourself, even if someone else *ought* to be standing up for you. "Never gets real cold down here. 12.778°C." “Hold your gratitude, little one. The dead are stirring.” "Boy, they sure do love to sit up on their tall chairs and do nothing for hours!" -All dogs with scholars for owners What we gotta do, you see, is just one one of each of the freakiest little guys we can! That'll bring in the crowd! Let 👏 rodents 👏 have 👏 Internet! 👏 Everyfroggy brings something new to the table. Got shells so thick, you can't even hurt our feelings! No need to pay them a salary, they find their snacks along the way! When it seems they're heading for the (final) (curtain), smoking Kools makes worse what ails, (that's for) (certain). Hey, creatures born with natural weapons? Check your privilege. "His thoughts were red thoughts and his teeth were white." -H. H. Munro, "Srendi Vashtar" (1911). What is an idea? A miserable little pile of secrets! "We run 'til we drop, baby, we'll never go back!" -Bruce Springsteen, "Born to Run" (1975) The blues? No, this is deeper, darker. It's very calm actually, very relaxing. "Just because we like to keep it casual on a Friday doesn't mean we don't put in the effort, you know?" I hear they make them all themselves. It's not enough to win the battle. "Your weapon only makes us more powerful." "Nail-tough and untiring, try me and see." It's important to give your sharks the breathing room to really be themselves. "Oh geez, did y'all just collect my buddy? Am I the last one left?" A top vacation spot! (For ruminant herbivores) All good puppies! No problems here! "Well, gentlemen, this is quite an historic moment. We're about to step across the threshold of a new era. Space Burial and Resurrection Now." -The Loved One (1965) When you're playing for real stakes, infinite games can only stay infinite for so long. No need to hit the gym if you don't have elbows or knees! "Wait, did the pointer just barely miss an outcome that says Kill Nathan?" Are you looking at them? Look at these beans. Huge owls are desired by many. This causes a variety of problems. Eat, drink, and be naughty! "A shifting black pillar dominates the room, writhing and contorting as though in agony. As you approach, you see glinting beaks and mad eyes and, here or there, the shape of a wing." -A House of Many Doors (2017). Just in time to get these wrapped and onto the sleigh! "I'm a little worried about how... clean these dungeon walls are." The card(sharp)s know and the card(sharp)s tell! Maybe the real treasures are the foes we bound along the way. Bullet heaven above, bullet hell below. "I think you'll find that our enemies... get the point!" "Every nine years nine men enter the house so that I may deliver them from evil. I hear their steps or their voices in the depths of the stone galleries and I run joyfully to find them. The ceremony lasts a few minutes." -Jorge Luis Borges, "The House of Asterion" (1964). "If we work together, we can really make this place into a home." Descending the segmented spiral. "Cyberpsychosis isn't a personality, Xris." The Goose, The Swan, And The Birdly. Seriously, though, why don't we see more chocolate-tea collabs? You'll have to train 'til you're a hundred to land a hit against these sinuous beasts! "These torches? Why, they're just to make your village suitable for building." Sadly, flightless birds to still have to pay the shipping costs, since they can't keep themselves aloft under their own power. "Hey, Atropos, you sure you didn't want to go for something a little more intimidating?" "I've got the sinking feeling my creator doesn't have my best interests in mind." "You idiots! We've all got tentacles!" A sweet treat that only gets better with age! What do you mean, they're all starving? We're more fun than the leopards, too. Buncha sticks in the mud, them. Sometimes, they run all through the night until dawn, trying to outrun their dreams. ...that's a moray. We're going to need to synchronize watches, we're way off. Past the ice, it's ten times as nice! "When everyone holds an iron swords, the odds again are even." Lucretius, <em>De Rerum Natura</em>. Just imagine, a store that sells everything! "It results from the encounter!" It's only natural. These herbivores aren't going to eat themselves. Oh Yes, the bees! The bees! Turns out, none of us really knew Jack. Please put your whole ass into this escapade, if you don't mind. Just be sure not to admire at a distance, let's not go feral about it. We're just incredibly comfortable right now, what's going on with you? Unfortunately, this is unlikely to bring His crime spree to an end. These grazing beasts... are any of them giving you weird vibes at all? Every means of locomotion is permitted, nay, encouraged! "Sure enough, I must have been mokus and so out of focus to miss the first half of the show." - James Taylor, "Once More Go Round" 1991 On the face of it, there's really only two sides to this one. "I have a message! It is that someone in your neighborhood likes to feed the crows." A multi-purpose greeting card configured to read, "Let me know if you are actually an unfeeling robot." "I try to serve life, but you only seem to want to destroy it." Eat, drink, and be welcome! You gotta work *with* the updrafts. No point in working against them! "Look, we just need ot be at war with *someone*, who that might be isn't so important." Dancing on the speakers. Are you peaking with the tweakers? Fiddler on the hot tin roof. No acts of persuasive mimicry here, nothing at all to worry about! We're going to need some smaller bling Though I sleep no longer, the vision of a city beyond the clouds remains with me still. "None of you are supposed to be in the air! Get down from there!" Sounds like someone needs a time-out. "Haven't you heard? the past is over! And we are the only survivors." -Ashleigh Brilliant This egg has met its end, after all, but the chicken goes on. Don't think for a second that you're coming into this house. Ever experience the New Wave? Next Wave? Dream Wave?! OR Cyberpunk?! One plus one plus our prey makes three. I'm so glad you could come over. Can I offer you a spoonful of honey? All gentle souls, but it's the paper tigers you *don't* see that you really need to worry about. After all, the dogs are hot, the ice cream is cold, and we've got plenty of loaves. Welcome to the mediocre cinematic universe. "Well, I could hardly carry this burden if I wasn't still standing." About time someone stood up to him, it was getting to be a real circus around here! It's not a real flavor, it's a fiction that someone made up. Nothing is as it seems aside from everything seeming very uncertain. Thing are heating up and love is blooming! You think that's loud? Wait until the square gets cleared. If I'm being honest, the last one didn't so much get away as there just wasn't much left on those bones. "Hey, will you babysit my Tamagotchi® while I'm away for the weekend? My last one died and I can't go through that again bro." Well, did you follow the recipe or not? Any resemblance to persons living or dead is purely coincidental. What's the matter, can't take a little heat? "What's a' matter? You feelin' yellah'?" "Everyone drifts, all the time! It's impossible to drive straight." -Overdrift (2007) You can help by keeping your distance and gathering some firewood. AM HAPPY. AM IN TROUBLE. NO WAIT, AM HAPPY. "I think you'll find that reports that it is impossible for us to remain airborne on account of the Earth's inexorable pull have been grossly exaggerated!" Hang on, the music of what now? You'll have to spook yourself, I'm off the clock. School's out forever. Thing is, there's technically also a last time for everything. "And you know, you can expect hazardous travel later today with that, you know, that, uh, that blizzard thing." "SAMUS: Ridley killed my parents. RIDLEY: One time!" -Awkward Zombie (2014-09-21) Think I might need both hands for this one. "If the facts don't support my theory, the facts must be wrong." -Ashleigh Brilliant This is an obsidian doll. All craftsmanship is of the highest quality. "So we get funky in the house, you know what I'm saying?" -LL COOL J And I watched it as it disappeared. You know that he'll be hard (Here he is) Return of the Bard (Once again) So many suitors, my heavens, how will I ever choose? "And when I stand on my head, you never react. I can't get you to crack, I can't get you to crack, not one fucking smile" -Veruca Salt, "Stoneface" (1997) A dream about being a person. I mean, I tried, but I decided that returning to target owner's hand was the best course of action. It don't matter where you parade. You better plan for rain, just in case. "I want a suite, a shower, a shave, the feel of a suit!" "One well-placed bomb could ruin my whole day." -Ashleigh Brilliant "Hi! It looks like you're collecting pins." -Pinny the Pin Assistant, Wondermark It's going to take a lot more than that to stop them. DOGS! 👏 DESERVE! 👏 IMAGINATIVE! 👏 SPACES! 👏 Just me? That's fine, I should be the one in charge after all. You'll cheam your creezies when you speep our Pestist Grevias! Every bnuuy needs some bduuy to love. Not sure that I enrolled in this school to do this, but I guess it's what we're doing! What do you mean, they made my plans illegal?! "I could do great things, if I were'nt so busy doing little things" -Ashleigh Brilliant What we gotta do, you see, is build them too big to succeed! Because if not by our hands, and then by whose? They get to hang out and play, and they have lots of friends, but unfortunately we can't go visit them. This honkin' snoot's a beaut. I'm gonna let it hoot. Wah-wah-wah-wipeout! If you liked this word, you're going to *love* that word. "You want me to do what? No way, get meow'da here." So perhaps you might consider making a small donation to support a free resource from which so many benefit? Back to the homestead we go! "Nurse come in, please, where are you?" -Dr. Octagon, "General Hospital" (1996). There is no need to cry when everybody Hz. Feels like making progress toward the goal is harder than ever. "If you’re bold enough to go mask off, you’re bad enough to get smacked on." -2 Mello, "PULL UP" (2021) "Want something?" -VHS Head, "Frozen" (2014) I hope it is! There might be five minutes in it! Don't given 'em the satisfaction, is how! Revived out of a sense of begrudged duty. Surely, this will be sufficient! (It wasn't.) "Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the window." -Ashleigh Brilliant It's all in the game, though, right? My boots! My boots! My controlling shares for my boots! What you're making in a year, I blow it in a week. A curious war. The only way to win is not to kill. If you're just now joining us, this is buffo tenor Ultros, performing the opening number from *De Vermis Mysteriis*. Come on in! The water's cold and under enormous pressure! Love is free. Love is free. Love is free. Love is free. (Ready to kick some ass!) Look to the sky, and you will see, in its vastness, all things. Feel like a winner; where air is thinner; take it from me. Rejections by mail don't get any easier when they come from across the veil. These fun guys are now making all metropolitan stops. You ever get the feeling that the scissors had better watch out, because they might not be the victors in this encounter? They want you to know what's in the books; they do not want you to take them. Poison Dart Froogo is a little bummed to learn they're not the biggest frog in the land. The next big things arises from what came before, even if it need not be of the same stuff. Been a long time gone, Leningrad. Why did Leningrad get the works? This hall of whispers ain't quiet enough for the both of us. Shuffle the deck, cut the cards, bury the evidence, and throw away the knife. Some dogs are created more orb than others. If you don't watch out, there's gonna tamagetcha! Conviction is a terrible thing to concede. Or angry? Or ready for dessert? One need only point out where the artifact is hidden and command, "Fetch!" Please turn to p. 104 and consult the Wheel Table. "It's even more exciting, not being able to see where they lead, don't you think?" We're gonna need a bigger magnifying glass. Keep your finger on the X button, this sequence is brutal, and it goes on *forever*! Forgive me. It's not you, nor is it me, it's just autumn. It's a very slow dance, but on a truly grand scale. "Sometimes nothing can be a real cool hand." -Luke Jackson, *Cool Hand Luke* (1967). Three of two of them. They say the only way that anyone ever comes to know her is in passing. "Scum of the Earth, overpaid to rob anonymously from a distance" -Metric, "Doomscroller" (2022). "The Dark Wizard further encouraged me to build visualizations and tools to reinforce my superstitions." -Thomas Walter Murphy VII We keep it tight, you know? Gotta be there for the wolf pack. Dealer vs. dealer, the edge is going to go to whoever has more arms. I'm nourished by the lives that wove the web inside my haunted head. Creatures with which one might relax/ensorcel. 🎶If you want to destroy your reason, trace this thread to its origin.🎵 These raptors are capable of velocities their ancient ancestors could never imagine. Watch party at our place! We're going to binge Candle Cove! "And then he went into his office, going mrmee, mrmee, mrmee, mrmee." -Harlan Ellison, "'Repent, Harlequin!' Said the Ticktockman" (1965). Cogito ergo that's some people, I tell you what. Following the upheaval, life must go on. I shall stop and think, from time to time, and from the ocean of my mind, I will pluck a memory of you, and smile. If the bounty of the earth is sate my every hunger, why do I still feel uneasy? Knuckles the echidna said "Fuck TERFs" and it roared across the battlefield from his mech's broadcast system. "As long as the lookout manages to stay hidden, you can hide here as long as it takes to recover." "We will be the hands that lift you up and we will be the arms that hold you high. We will make you say our name forever. We will make you want another try." -Röyksopp, "Skulls" Crowds part when I go out on the town with my ball & chain. I don't know where this idea comes from that we're the quiet types. We're chattin' about delicious mortals all the time! Everything just gets more imposing with adulthood, doesn't it? Look, everyone, I'm sure one of us is going to crack their ICE eventually! "And bein' the baller that I am, I talk to them; Givin' a damn about them not feelin' my attitude." -Chamillionaire, "Ridin'" Owl be seeing you later! What better way to honor her contributions than to post via wifi? And if you can believe it, it's Friday once again, Chère. We're sorry/thrilled to take over/leave it to you! Just think of it, a land created by Lord Larethian for all our kind. We'll just need to relocate these pesky humans. Look, Eunice, the company has done quite a lot to wind you up, it's only right that it get the song and dance it expects. "I did my makeup all by myself! Well, maybe one person helped." I know some people say think they're very one-dimensional, but I sure think they've got depth. When all you have is a skull, every problem starts to look like a fortress gate. It's almost as though what the heart wants is not necessarily precisely what the body needs. That your car? Pretty nice, I love convertibles! Take heart! There will be fascists enough to punch anon! Look, the expected value of going again is infinite. So hit me. Hit me. Hit me. Sweet things come from those who fly! A rare window into how royal succession plays out after the chess game has concluded. Within these pictures, we will no doubt find the hidden secrets that will reveal the identity of the murderer! These felines bee-line to bumper gleams and laser beams. I'm hot 'cause I stayed out in the sun too long. You ain't 'cause you showed reasonable levels of restraint in the face of a fiery sky orb. Sure, some things end, but in the grand scheme, everything keeps on going. "It's our spilled milk, and we'll cry if we want to!" "You say you can't stand me when I'm quiet, and so I shot you with my silence. I can't get that trumpet out of my head." -Lykke Li, "This Trumpet In My Head" (2008). You're going to need to put a lot of heads together to outsmart this wolf pack. I'll keep them close so I'm never alone! High Priestess Luna bids you to mind your manner in her domain, for it is where her beasts are at their most powerful. Time to get out from these narrow confines and stretch our limbs! With DOS on your PC, you'll be blown away by the discussions about DOOM and SSI you'll have on AOL. LOL! Froogo's having a grand old time living that monospaced life! Sure, the Moon is a lot smaller than the Sun, but it's also a *lot* closer! Betcha can't kiss the Spider Woman just once! The future is not yet determined, but we may know ourselves in the present moment. With family like these, who needs mortal enemies? Marx: "Don't you know the emancipation of the working classes can only be achieved by the working classes themselves?" Lenin: "No, but if you hum a few bars I'll try and fake it." Don't count this silly little mouse out just yet! Even so, it's going to be *quite* a climb, with some gnarly battles along the way. If that girl's going to keep her hearts full, she'd better use a spin attack! They're technically all woofers, even their tweeter! A businessman is beset by sexy wingsuited beachgoers with knives! This is making everyone else nervous. If it wasn't for the certification, you'd never even know the place was haunted. Bulma is excited to reveal the DBZ Spacelab to the audiences of Earth. "I wonder." -President Lindberg, *The Fifth Element* (1997). I can fix him in post. What a mysterious collection of bones, behaving in most unexpected ways! They say she's got specimens to die for. The stripes make it hard for you to tell how many of them there are. Ponder it, won't you? Ponder the eternal and beautiful orb, seen across so many orders of magnitude. "I'm just really feeling the 'action' part real intense, like. I could honestly take or leave the 'direct' part." "Just make sure you don't leave this one out overnight like you did your last bike." Bears shouldn't walk on sunshine! Not like this! Think what you will of these cats, they've certainly thought a great deal about you. Raise the iron curtain on the first of many acts, but never lower your guard! Who needs spinal column when you've got all this brain power?! In today's 'Feat Head-To-Head,' we'll be comparing two different options for spicing up your NPCs Every turn you make, you're heading downward, and yet there's never any bottom. *On the Fresh Grave of Your Lifelong Love Who died of Consumption and Being Found the Next Morning Unconscious, Naked, and Nearly Frozen to Death by the Groundskeeper. "Dinosaurs are not dead! Dinosaurs are life!" "Now, you say you spell 'slaadi' with two As? Fascinating." My journey shall take me beyond the shore, beyond the sea, beyond even the sky itself. "Sinuously erect?" Looks, *New Aeon*, you said it not me. "Did you think such a treasure would have only one protector, waiting around bored and alone for you to blunder in and take it?" I didn't give my heart to a rubber wasp, so much as have it stolen. And I realized it wasn't a blade at all. It was a key. Reach for the top with the flats of your feet! So, let's see, after four double-or-nothings, I believe you now owe me 16 times what we wagered. No? Look, do you want to get into the Field of Reeds or not? Sometimes it's not enough to be the cock of the walk. Sometimes, you need the walk all to yourself. How was your commute home? Honey? You can't even call him Mr. Potato Head anymore. Because of woke. WARNING: Improper use may cause a hazardous condition. Do not top off. The streets of the old city are teeming with schemers, miscreants, and those just trying to get through the day. Of course I'm going to let him come right back, I'm still wearing his denim vest. All I need is water, and fruit, and to impress my friends. When you're looking at the world while you've got the blues, a blue Moon just looks like the Moon. It's a tough market out there, no horsin' around permitted. Behold, the first feed manufacturing facility to shift the focus from responding to contamination of the supply to preventing it. Some doors will only open to a stranger who you feel deeply that you knew in times past. "In an orderly world, there's always a place for the disorderly." -Ashleigh Brilliant They say the uprising was started by a cadre of Jameson-type cyborgs. The spirit of the millennium is alive in the mix of Rs and Bs. "If you think about it, Platinum, the whole rest of the world is Sheep, isn't it?" Republic Space Force: The Wings of Hollandaise A lizard prince sits in a library, reading, wide-eyed. If it were Ours, We'd make it much bigger. This crew's so gently pliable, they've not got one bone between them. All the armaments known to the artist that are mightier than the sword. These feathered fellows bring the "smash" to "smashing the chains of the oppressed." Food fights: Questionable. Kitchenware fights: Unconscionable. Are you telling me that cats dressed as finely as we should feel hunger? Preposterous! No more fearsome collection of bounty hunters has ever been assembled! "Reach for a book and you touch the stars," they said. "As above, so below," they said. And look at us now! Sure would be a shame if we took these, the only remaining Talismans, into the Valley with us! "To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and, whatever you hit, call it the target." -Ashleigh Brilliant They say you can kill over 200 pounds of rabbit and bison with just 1 Bullets card. Is that really true?! "Cause every chromosome is a hand-me-down." - Weird Al Yankovic, "I Think I'm A Clone Now" (1988) These bugs are some next-level moon fanciers, so they deserve nothing less than The Moon, fancier. The moon is not a place for people. It will never forgive these people for trying to be Selenites. One of these bozos show their face, and you're getting that *special* boss music! The jeans are from grandma, the Nintendo is from Uncle Red. When you're a resurrectionist, you get to be in everybody's will! See how they sparkle, see how they shine, see how you're drawn from yours into mine. A shady ne'er-do-well pulls himself from the ocean only to discover more than he bargained for. Look, I'm just saying, these creatures are, like, *all wing*, know what I mean? This gnome's got a sword, and a dog, and a wardrobe that just don't quit. Beneath the canal, and deeper out beyond the harbor, there are things in the water. Stripes, checkerboards, it's as plain as black and white. It's a chimeracle! I'll lead, you follow, try not to get burned. Each and every dog normal, not made of unusual materials at all, don't worry about it. Tell us experience that we can earn. The aftermath of deuterium and tritium loving not wisely, but too well. If you do it with a twist. Yes, artistically. Nothing shiny is safe from this clever birb! Arduino? I hardly hippo! Don't get it twisted, the bozo on the horse knows what he did. Emmy Noether, iconic physicist and mathematician, was operating on a whole different level. "One of the book's signs is the sounding of seven trumpets, the fifth of which brings forth a swarm of locusts." All! About! Bees! Don't hate us because we're beautiful. Well, maybe go ahead and hate, it's great for our metrics. Something about them all, can't quite put my finger on it... A couple meets under a starry sky filled with fruit. Say 5 degrees by the next 100 years and it sets the world on fire. You think the people aren’t just going to sell the Earth and move? Long after the collapse of the imperial core, a long and cryptic shadow is still cast by its ghosts. A man and woman ponder an ord, within which is an alien who ponders them back with an order of its own. From the beyond, further orbs, and further pondering of this pondering. What more does a witch need than the Moon, the stars, an orb, a tower, and ten or so animal companions? Person: "Guys! What if everyone got replaced by robots and I'm the last real person left?" Narrator: "He was." Make way for the new goth royalty. A macaw, a parrot, a crow, and a raven walk into a bar. The bartender looks up at them and says, "What is this, some kind of chost?" In the abyss, a face. Upon the face, sweet honeyed mans. The salt is implied. Mary Anning (1799-1847) was one of the great paleontologists of the 19th century. Just some frogs taking the express train to the lake. Have you considered... the cheese unknown to science? This motley crew's only got one thing on the mind: Dem bones. Team Rocket takes a tumble from a castle into the trash. This little sprawling gloom, she's gonna let it loom. In a state of nature, nobody knows you're *Canis lupus familiaris*. It's autumn, and what better time to share our reflections with one another? The light from the early universe is right there, waiting for us to grab it. "The axolotls were like witnesses of something, and at times like horrible judges. I felt ignoble in front of them; there was such a terrifying purity in those transparent eyes." -"Axolotl" (Julio Cortazar, 1956). Cannot attack if defending player controls no islands. If at abt time you control no islands, bury Dandân. This bird had it all figured out, or so they thought. Look out everyone, Drawfee is being horny on main again, and the community is *wound up*. In fact, we're better than nice. We are unbelievable! The powerful gather in secret to toast their unassailability. Scavengers gonna scavenge. So yeah, mind if I grab a couple fries? A diminutive kobold is ready for training with the swordmaster. Three imposing figures consider their respective blades. ’Tis now the very witching time of night, when churchyards yawn and hell itself breathes out contagion to this world. Now could we drink hot blood, and do such bitter business as the day would quake to look on. "If we all work together, we can totally disrupt the system" -Ashleigh Brilliant. A pink zebra is looking to get a trio of animals drunk; only the one with the worst judgment is interested. The Great Wheel is the hottest date spot for singles in all of Paris. Walk slowly through the forest, for it is full of resting creatures. Lady in stone, her crew made of bone. These dinos are *very* cool. It's hot in this desert, it's boring, and it's time to go home! The fruits of the past are delicious today, the fruits of today are delicious forever. These cats are cross, so leave 'em be. There are a dog and a cat inside you. Each contains multitudes. Warning: Coffee may be the brutal, searing temperature of the sun. A space telescope gazes across a starry expanse at the white-hot chaos of a black hole accretion disk. What if praying mantises, only Byzantine? WereGarurumon se gare sur La Rue de la Gare, aux ecart de la rousse avec la roue dans la route. These pups don't run! "According to the latest official figures, 43% of all statistics are totally worthless." -Ashleigh Brilliant. A young witch reads an occult tome by the light of a single very intimidating candle. Three royals ladies, three noble creatures. If you think about it, a tongue is like a snake but also like a brain. A supergroup over 400 years in the making. A group of 19th century women paint a sitting model. Pigeons are very fine birds, but please appreciate them respectfully. These junkyard felines just might have designs on some of your treasures. That grinning cat can't pierce my force field. The next move you make could be your next. Never forget what social media was, and didn't need to be. Tintin is threatened by an unnaturally big spider. Truly, it's good to be alive. Ooh, let's slip that gap! Many birds, many eyes, an insatiable hunger. A star-struck owl gazes into the vast unknowable depths beyond the atmosphere. Hell is empty, and all the bastards are here. "After the last sixty million years, I suddenly feel very tired." -Ashleigh Brilliant It is by your hand that the truth will be revealed to you. Folks with skin untouched by the sun. Some round, chill friends soak in the sunshine. "Please turn down the volume or play something other than Drake." When three clocks disagree by this much, best to call it a day after lunch. I mean, what could the odds that this result is a fluke possibly be? The sages agree: Ancient Egypt is pretty cool. ALL HAIL OUR FEARSOME CELESTIAL ORB! Even a flat Earth resides in a vast and voluminous universe that is full of wonders. Have you remembered the moon today? "We've got to build our life on new foundations. We must get back to primeval integrity." -Eugène Ionesco, 1960. "That is a beautiful occupation. And since it is beautiful, it is truly useful." The Little Prince (1943), on the subject of The Lamplighter. "It's strange, but wherever I take my eyes, they always sen things from my point of view." -Ashleigh Brilliant Two leviathans consume meal fit for a world-devouring hunger! Mazeppa regrets riding bareback in the company of much wilder ruffians. This place is just chock full of dogs! The month of June is a time for beautiful flora. Few people today realize that King Charles the First had specialized in dual-wielding. You are a toad. Toad toad toad. The desert is full of strange and wondrous visions. I'll cut more off than a nose before I'm done with you. It's plane to see that it's all geometry. Jack's lucky chucks attack Waluigi's semi-wahtomatic wahndgun. The Great Telescope of Birr meets the telescopes of the future. "Don't do something we're both going to regret." The hills are alive with the sound of ravenous, toothsome, flowering plants. Good? Bad? She's the girl with the gun. Ain't no rule say that dogs can't take baths. A whale's song is sometimes a plea to find a point of reference. Let me tell you, Cohen's couldn't believe how big my effect size is. Think about it. Have you ever *seen* your skull? Or anyone else's, for that matter? Few can deny that cats are miniature demigods, albeit with quite constrained empires of influence. "A trap is only a trap if you don't know about it. If you know about it, it's a challenge." -China Miéville, 1998. (A rat's become a fat cat, flanked by kings gone rank.) Two rabbits prepare for a coordinated, synchronized attack. "There's freakin' cats everywhere, dude." -Jacob Andrews Betray your tyrants and choose violence. This ad dares to ask: What is Napoleon... was a refrigerator? An array of vices are laid out before you, ready to take you to the stars. A team of horses mill restlessly at the edge of the world. "All the evidence concerning the universe has not yet been collected, so there's still hope." -Ashleigh Brilliant A gaggle of clowns gather, as if to say, "There is no out there. There is only in here." You wouldn't Potemkin Buster a trans girl. Right? "I'm now making myself as scummy as I can. Why? I want to be a poet, and I'm working at turning myself into a seer. You won't understand any of this, and I'm almost incapable of explaining it to you. The idea is to reach the unknown by the derangement of all the senses." -Arthur Rimbaud, 1871, as translated by Graham Robb (2000). After successfully playing the long game, the roiling darkness above is commanded to produce a bolt of elemental lightning, bestowing power unto Long Marty. Three women, accented in gold, present their respective trigrams of power. Are the arms I'm supposed to take up against a sea of trouble... the very arrows I've already had the fortune of receiving? "I have just discovered the truth, and can't understand why everybody isn't eager to hear it." -Ashleigh Brilliant "I mean, you're not doing it now, either." Several minds are blown, either figuratively or literally. "By using your intelligence, you can sometimes make your problems twice as complicated." -Ashleigh Brilliant A couple of sketchy characters find their way to the far side of the moon. Three dogs in a circle greet one another. Hop in your time machine and come to the Bad Apple, serving customers from 2011 to 2012. "It is unbelievable that this stubborn darkness, this eternal eclipse, this flaw in geometry, this eternal cloud on virgin truth can be endured." -Farkas Bolyai, c. 1825. It's the landing. "Nonetheless, collectively these results offer a clear conclusion: A large portion of replications produced weaker evidence for the original findings despite using materials provided by the original authors, review in advance for methodologi- cal fidelity, and high statistical power to detect the original effect sizes." -Open Science Collaboration, 2015 “They are real, and that’s why I will never work out that hard again, because nobody wanted to believe they were real." -Nicholas Cage, 2022 A continental mystic of some notoriety seeks to complete a quest amidst an array of assets and obstacles. Bet I can fit this whole book in my mouth! "The Thousand And One Nights is not something which has died. It is a book so vast that it is not necessary to have read it, for it is a part of out memory." -Tim Rogers (2020) quoting Eliot Weinberger's (1984) translation of Jorge Luis Borges (1980). It's a cloudy day, but this kitty's not going to get caught unprepared. Swan atop the battlement, Goose down on the pavement. "You're having delusions, Jobe. Struggle for reason!" -Dr. Lawrence Angelo A winged strawberry floats above a windmill in a snow-blanketed cityscape. Nobody can resist your Stromboli dynamism. I wish I was the animal which fits into that mood. A soul singer is accompanied by attendant musicians. But as the wind changed direction, and the temple band took fire, the crowd caught a whiff of that crazy Casbah jive! Corpora descriptio, corpora delicti. Every zoo is a heavy petting zoo if you're brave enough. Orbs, orbs in all directions! All soft horses, no straight lines. The quest for knowledge is an infinite game played by finite creatures. "It grows harder from here," she warned the cat, but it dropped to the path and walked forward as though to say, 'You are wasting your time.' -Kij Johnson, 2016 "Why'd they make that drawer so hot?!" The world isn't getting smaller. Every part of it is simply accelerating toward you. "When a man tries to see into the distance, what does he do? He narrows his eyes." -Katsuhiro Otomo, 1987 Five enemies defeated and only one round left to defeat the resulting sadness. The Tacoma Art Museum invites residents of 2009 to discovery how David Macaulay works. Smitten lovers paint the town red. How is an ungulate like a human-powered aircraft? Three eggs. Or is it four? A man peers up at the James Webb Space Telescope, far beyond the Moon. It should be noted that the motor car was also invented by pedestrians. But for some reason the motorists soon forgot about that. They began to run over the meek and mild, clever pedestrians. The streets built by the pedestrians passed into the hands of the motorists. the roads doubled in width and the sidewalks narrowed down to the size of a tobacco wrapper. The pedestrians began to huddle against the walls of buildings in alarm. -Ilf & Petrov, 1962 The reader is commanded to keep thinking. A bookmark promoting the now-defunct Gotham Book Mart. "What we all dread most is a maze with no center." -G. K. Chesterton, 1913 Two masked and robed individuals recline in a gondola, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." Three wacky ladies are really excited to share their opinions. A variety of grim portents induce a melancholy atmosphere. A portrait of Bonaparte remains trapped halfway between the sketch and the render. The capybara is a singularly luminous animal, and space aliens have concerns. Kings and queens brandish their weapons, but in a sensual way. A single powerful tome can have the weight of a whole stack of fluff. You have been greeted by an inhabitant of the Moon. A man grasps at an arrow in his back, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." The animals are immune to rhetoric. An angel points at a skull, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A man creates/discovers the world, while a giant speaks/is silent. Several unnerving horse-like entities. The hottest take of all time is also literally the most superficial. Seven knives pierce an apple, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." They call me Pitopotamus, my kisses are bottomless. Three amniotes are enthusiastically ready for things to get weird. A train journeys to space, with a speech bubble saying, "AAAAAAA" A postal cat swipes at a postal rat, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A dog dreams, calmly and cozily, of what it is like to be a dog. A harlequin reclines on bench below the stage. Birds are made creepier by their unknowable secrets. Cats playing golf, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A man is nuzzled by a sphinx. Amish women rise a horse-drawn carriage into Intercourse, Pennsylvania, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A cowled girl with a battle axe races across a tennis court to seek revenge as Ayk Danroyd looks on. A shadowy figure beside a table looks out over a desert, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." Cats demonstrate a variety of emotions through pose, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A person holding a brilliant lantern aloft, with a speech bubble saying, "holy crap." Movie poster for Manon Des Sources, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A tuxedoed gentleman appears with a winged alchemical symbol. Eight ants circle on a Moebius band, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." Opus the penguin tries and fails to fly, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A person stands with their head bisected, with a speech bubble saying, "holy crap." A green monkey clutches his bananas, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A multi-purpose greeting card configured to read, "It's time to perfunctorily send a card for Halloween!" A giant squid with a chicken's head attack's attacks fictional submarine The Nautilus, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A wanderer stands above a sea of fog, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A man crouches in order to demonstrate to a dog how to defecate. A surfer tips off the crest of a wave, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." Dr. Strange is attacked by a monster, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A mysterious woman nibbles at a butter biscuit. A sixteenth century depiction of an autopsy, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A Hippopotamus cast in bronze, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A wolf looks on. A man holding a and puppet aloft, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." Various dogs, with an imperative to "Vote Dog." Two theatrical stars are pressed into a dispute over a crown, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." Saint George, having broken his lance, swings a sword at a dragon, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A Chinese print of a bird, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." The Eiffel Tower, manipulated to appear upside-down, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." 
