Oh, him? He's definitely not on the list. "When people ask me what I do in the mountains all day," the mole quipped, "I tell them I'm boring!" "Scum of the Earth, overpaid to rob anonymously from a distance" -Metric, "Doomscroller" (2022). "The Dark Wizard further encouraged me to build visualizations and tools to reinforce my superstitions." -Thomas Walter Murphy VII You wanna know how I got these wings? "Open up for me, Max. I've got something I want to play for you." -Barry Convex, in *Videodrome* (1983). All you need to do is turn your eyes toward the things creeping at the edge of the frame. From purple timber no good thing was ever drank. Though it be cool, and dark, much grows in the waters of the bog. It's remarkable what you can turn up when you're a journalist by day. Dealer vs. dealer, the edge is going to go to whoever has more arms. Above us, the celestial fire. Below us, the infernal heat. The committee of independent consultants has decreed: It kinda seems like an extra city would just be redundant. Not sure how you can be so salty but not salt your password tables. Feed them, Seymour. "And then he went into his office, going mrmee, mrmee, mrmee, mrmee." -Harlan Ellison, "'Repent, Harlequin!' Said the Ticktockman" (1965). "My boy says he can eat fifty eggs, he can eat fifty eggs." -Dragline, in *Cool Hand Luke* (1967). Cogito ergo that's some people, I tell you what. Stay outta my personal space! "The biblical Tower of Babel was built so high as to defy understanding. Those who built it began to talk nonsense. The tower could no longer be comprehended. There was simply too much of it." -Jon Bois, "Troy State 253, DeVry 141" a.k.a. "We're Serious About Success" (2017). Is this your first time on the path? Why is it that the owner class so frequently don't have any class at all? The bigger they are, the harder these little guys bring them down. Crossing the veil's not so hard when you can relax to fill the contain you've been placed in. Next stop: Exceeding 300 kilometers per hour! Look, everyone, I'm sure one of us is going to crack their ICE eventually! Once upon a noontime sunny, while I pondered something funny, written in a quaint and curious book of a romantic strain — while I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, as of some one gently rapping, rapping at my window pane. “’Tis the breezy trees,” I muttered, “tapping at my window pane, only this, the wind's refrain.” Owl be seeing you later! What better way to honor her contributions than to post via wifi? I'm just coming back from the shops. Hope these supplies aren't too haunted! And if you can believe it, it's Friday once again, Chère. "Pull this lever," they said. "It opens all the cages at once, easy peasy," they said. See them run hither and thither, each sporting their own accessory! Just add ears (imperative)! Just think of it, a land created by Lord Larethian for all our kind. We'll just need to relocate these pesky humans. "Now, fellas, how exactly are we going to proceed with no judge or jury?" A multi-purpose greeting card configured to read, "Hope you had a pleasant recuperation!" "I did my makeup all by myself! Well, maybe one person helped." When all you have is a skull, every problem starts to look like a fortress gate. I hope this doesn't corrupt any sectors in me... Within these pictures, we will no doubt find the hidden secrets that will reveal the identity of the murderer! (grumbles) "Goddamn group projects, how come I'm always the one picking up the slack at the last minute?" I'll tell you what, when we're done down here, it's going to be all mine! I'm hot 'cause I stayed out in the sun too long. You ain't 'cause you showed reasonable levels of restraint in the face of a fiery sky orb. "You say you can't stand me when I'm quiet, and so I shot you with my silence. I can't get that trumpet out of my head." -Lykke Li, "This Trumpet In My Head" (2008). Beware the prisons we build for ourselves, invisible to others, that trap us in our own minds. You're going to need to put a lot of heads together to outsmart this wolf pack. As above, so below. All that remains is your execution. This shaggy trio of pups looks like trouble! High Priestess Luna bids you to mind your manner in her domain, for it is where her beasts are at their most powerful. I'm hearing a lot of good things about, I think they're called "Lancers?" All the rage, I hear. You'd never guess which of the two has the higher power level. Froogo's having a grand old time living that monospaced life! It was in the Vosges Mountains, they're famous for it. Eggbug's doing the best they can, but let's just say it's a lucky thing they can fly! Sure, the Moon is a lot smaller than the Sun, but it's also a *lot* closer! These sculptural creations are ready to make some mayhem, and are also immune to critical hits! What reason do you have to doubt? Have you ever met a pig who tells lies before? "What do we make? Motherfucker, we make *money!*" All it takes is a bit of the old one-two, one-two! As everyone knows, benevolent clowns favor bicycles, while malevolent clowns have all flocked to these new "motor vehicles." Betcha can't kiss the Spider Woman just once! With family like these, who needs mortal enemies? Marx: "Don't you know the emancipation of the working classes can only be achieved by the working classes themselves?" Lenin: "No, but if you hum a few bars I'll try and fake it." People sure seem upset about something on campus, but so long as I've got my barrier up, I can ponder my orb in peace. Whatever they're doing, it's not thinking. Bulma is excited to reveal the DBZ Spacelab to the audiences of Earth. Don't mind him, he's just pining for the fjords. A nibble here, a nibble there, and before you know it, you've made a treasure from someone else's trash! Robots! We're doing our part(s)! "I wonder." -President Lindberg, *The Fifth Element* (1997). Things aren't going so hot for these amateur rocketeers! What a mysterious collection of bones, behaving in most unexpected ways! We need to claw back these resources before nature does it for us! They say she's got specimens to die for. The stripes make it hard for you to tell how many of them there are. At whose behest are the cities remade? At yours?! This looks like a job for Claude Chappe, inventor of wireless long-distance semaphore! Like my graduate adviser used to say, if you want to study a good boy, study yourself! Bears shouldn't walk on sunshine! Not like this! "Everything that its developers would need to crank out GranTurismo sleeps in Motor Toon Grand Prix's prehistorically simple action gamey race flow." -Tim Rogers, 2019 Think what you will of these cats, they've certainly thought a great deal about you. "In a logic that perhaps no man will ever understand, the true winner is the last to finish the race." -Dr. Nils Hellstrom, *The Hellstrom Chronicle* (1971). Who needs spinal column when you've got all this brain power?! Integers! They're only natural! I think you'll find that the meaning this duel takes depends entirely on where I cleave things. Our best bet is to stick together and find a nice sunny patch where we can all photosynthesize! "Spring has sprung! And all the lovers knowing that spring has come!" -Terry Taylor, "Spring Has Sprung" (1997). Maybe she's born with it. Maybe she knows some really talented craftspeople. I shall remake this world in my image. Starting with this tree that I shall punch. In the criminal justice system, the wealthy are represented by two separate, yet equally obnoxious groups: billionaires, whose demands outline what is and is not lawful, and cronies, who enact those demands. "Come closer. Closer." (Whispers in your ear) "Now fight me like a man." "Now, you say you spell 'slaadi' with two As? Fascinating." On the Internet, everyone knows you can't possibly be a ghost who died before 1969, because they never received the necessary operating system upgrade. The beauty of analog systems is that you can always given 'em a good hip check if they're not behaving! We all saw you both from across the room, and we agree: We like what you've both got going on. Guess I'll wait here until someone restarts the level. Vee are going to PUMP YOU UP! "Sinuously erect?" Looks, *New Aeon*, you said it not me. From the north to the south to the east to the west! Elasmobranch fish are the boss and the best! It's the first of April, and you know what that means! That's right, FISH, FISH, FISH! They're the reason for the season! And I realized it wasn't a blade at all. It was a key. Look, all I'm saying is that we're never going to run out of space up there. So, let's see, after four double-or-nothings, I believe you now owe me 16 times what we wagered. Sometimes it's not enough to be the cock of the walk. Sometimes, you need the walk all to yourself. Pokémon shouldn't fight! Not like this! It might take some doing - these bastards looks like they're going after those pearly whites. WARNING: Improper use may cause a hazardous condition. Do not top off. Teach a monkey to shoot, and they'll paint on a grimmer, grander canvas for the rest of their lives. Of course I'm going to let him come right back, I'm still wearing his denim vest. Which of of the sky's faces will it turn towards us tomorrow? All I need is water, and fruit, and to impress my friends. This is not a genre-defining collection of contributions that transformed multiple creative industries. This is just a tribute. This couple of aces doesn't get their rocks off like an ordinary couple. When the trees are under the spell of winter's anesthetic stupor, we teach the blade-bearers how they may be safely diminished. These troublemakers are about to blow their tops! Things are gonna get hot! These saxa aren't going to frangere themselves. The centaurs have been over this before, but sometimes the spirit of jazz is too strong to partake in archery. Fortunately, someone brought a spare bow. In the future, music will consist of food sounds, and be prepared by those no longer among the living. They say the uprising was started by a cadre of Jameson-type cyborgs. Republic Space Force: The Wings of Hollandaise "You never know when you're making a memory." -Rickie Lee Jones. "I went to see a psychiatrist. He said, 'Tell me everything.' I did, and now he's doing my act." Richard Prince. Machines should do the work. That's what they're best at. People should do the thinking. That's what they're best at. "I got no complaints, it's regular hours, and I can jog to and from work on the parkway." No book in the world held the secret I sought, so I gave myself the book in dreams. A lancer pilot sits atop a stone wall. Ahead, a pastoral landscape of rolling farmland. Behind, a darkened industrial hellscape. "When asked by a noted art scholar the appropriate distance from which to stand when viewing his magnum opus plainly entitled Loss, Tim Buckley famously responded 'What? Fuck You!' and banned me from his forum" -Hareton Splimby Folks will do whatever it takes to be these dogs' best friends. "Reach for a book and you touch the stars," they said. "As above, so below," they said. And look at us now! Be grateful! The seasonal staff have been working through the night to lay out the white carpet for you. A mountain guide stands near a warm cabin and points across a vast expanse of snow at a shimmering peak. "You are becoming Gods. There's a new master of creation, and it's you. You've unraveled DNA, and at the same time, you're cultivating bacteria strong enough to kill every living thing. D'you think you are ready for that much power? You lot? **You lot?**" - *The Second Coming* (2003), as sampled by Orbital (2004) on "You Lot" I dunno, if it doesn't, can you *really* say you're living the dream? Now that they've been adorned with flowers, there's no denying that these are the beasts of all time. To go on this journey, goat north. Check out the eyelashes on this one! Just don't step into the circle. "Cause every chromosome is a hand-me-down." - Weird Al Yankovic, "I Think I'm A Clone Now" (1988) These bugs are some next-level moon fanciers, so they deserve nothing less than The Moon, fancier. Four intimidating figures, each a force to be reckoned with, indicates the object of their sinister ambitions. Who keeps so many birds in boxes?! The moon is not a place for people. It will never forgive these people for trying to be Selenites. One of these bozos show their face, and you're getting that *special* boss music! Zardoz gets to play Santa this year. The results are surprisingly heartwarming! When you're a resurrectionist, you get to be in everybody's will! See how they sparkle, see how they shine, see how you're drawn from yours into mine. A shady ne'er-do-well pulls himself from the ocean only to discover more than he bargained for. Crimson acid can hear what they're saying to her. This gnome's got a sword, and a dog, and a wardrobe that just don't quit. "Take this milk. Why do we drink *cow* milk? Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said, 'I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these things when I squeeze 'em!'? Isn't that weird?" -Calvin & Hobbes, 1993-06-14 Stripes, checkerboards, it's as plain as black and white. It's a chimeracle! You know what would look great in this untamed landscape? A housing development. Each and every dog normal, not made of unusual materials at all, don't worry about it. The Grand Palace is getting positively mobbed by flying aircraft. Sure, these reptiles can get flat, but they're flexible. What other other shapes would you like them to make? Nothing shiny is safe from this clever birb! "The name of the story will be Time, but you must not pronounce its name." -Robert Penn Warren Surely reading all this trashy gossip isn't bad for me! When you stare into the maze, the maze stares back into you. Even your sharpest barbs aren't making it past this armor. We greased the rails at the station terminus, and you won't *believe* what happened next! Say 5 degrees by the next 100 years and it sets the world on fire. You think the people aren’t just going to sell the Earth and move? A bunch of beaky busybodies band together. Hunted by horrors, Horace had his heart humbled and his hopes hollowed. Person: "Guys! What if everyone got replaced by robots and I'm the last real person left?" Narrator: "He was." Make way for the new goth royalty. Have you considered... the cheese unknown to science? This motley crew's only got one thing on the mind: Dem bones. Vaccines make you figuratively (literally?) demonproof. Yellow his room, with a new yellow curtain, and two yellow eyes, and everything is jaune for him. A bipedal cat, a degenerate, and a two-faced scoundrel welcome you to a world of illusion. Now, all is dark, and we may let the strings sing to those beyond the veil. These are *original* vampire characters, they are *not Dracula*! "The axolotls were like witnesses of something, and at times like horrible judges. I felt ignoble in front of them; there was such a terrifying purity in those transparent eyes." -"Axolotl" (Julio Cortazar, 1956). Strength? How about this dog show you what strength looks like? Cannot attack if defending player controls no islands. If at abt time you control no islands, bury Dandân. Scavengers gonna scavenge. So yeah, mind if I grab a couple fries? The Zee shines with all the colors of the Neathbow. Bookmaking is a machine for turning forests into knowledge. Cube. Pyramid. Sphere. Hexagon. Crescent. Perfection. "The triffids are coming! The triffids are growing! The triffids are killing!" The Great Wheel is the hottest date spot for singles in all of Paris. Walk slowly through the forest, for it is full of resting creatures. Was she rescued from the water, or is she merely humoring her gormless suitor? Lady in stone, her crew made of bone. These dinos are *very* cool. The world is so much simpler when it's this complicated! "How to survive eating animals in the wilderness: The tongue, eyes, and brain are all edible." These cats are cross, so leave 'em be. Warning: Coffee may be the brutal, searing temperature of the sun. Such meat and cheese that you'll think you've become titled royalty. WereGarurumon se gare sur La Rue de la Gare, aux ecart de la rousse avec la roue dans la route. These pups don't run! "According to the latest official figures, 43% of all statistics are totally worthless." -Ashleigh Brilliant. A supergroup over 400 years in the making. A group of 19th century women paint a sitting model. These junkyard felines just might have designs on some of your treasures. Tintin is threatened by an unnaturally big spider. A trio of big fans. It is by your hand that the truth will be revealed to you. A ground-based galleon must fend off an armada of airships descending from space. Crowd around the scrying pool, you're not going want to miss the preview of next week's episode! "Please turn down the volume or play something other than Drake." The Moon has many secrets, and many feel a pull other than that of the tides. I mean, what could the odds that this result is a fluke possibly be? The sages agree: Ancient Egypt is pretty cool. I see your card has (I see your card has cards in it)s in it. Have you remembered the moon today? You cannot learn statistics without first considering the simple coin flip. "It's strange, but wherever I take my eyes, they always sen things from my point of view." -Ashleigh Brilliant Two onlookers witness slowpoke, painted liked one of their French girls. Rock lobsters, scissor lizards, and paper tigers cannot attack or block. Two leviathans consume meal fit for a world-devouring hunger! The painting spoke to me, and only to me, and fell to me to rescue her. Few people today realize that King Charles the First had specialized in dual-wielding. Over a dozen entirely normal armchairs. Nothing to worry about. It's plane to see that it's all geometry. Jack's lucky chucks attack Waluigi's semi-wahtomatic wahndgun. The Kird Ape is 1/1, and receives +1/+2 when the controller has forests in play. "It’s not the job of the artist to give the audience what the audience wants. If the audience knew what they needed, then they wouldn’t be the audience. They would be the artists. It is the job of artists to give the audience what they need." -Alan Moore, 2007 The hills are alive with the sound of ravenous, toothsome, flowering plants. Good? Bad? She's the girl with the gun. Blind albino eggbug, ravenous, cloaked in a darkness never once touched by sunlight, must attack each turn if possible. Just do one thing, however small, that will allow you to start. Believe that you have something to say. Let me tell you, Cohen's couldn't believe how big my effect size is. The museum of the French mint provides a showcase of the cheddar them French been gettin' for two millennia. Where'd you get those creepers?! Six hungry ladies set out in search of fresh fish. "Did you know? It is impossible to outrun your own reflection." -Celeste (2018) A flock of books take flight. These boys done been kicking your ass so hard, their shoes wore out! A delicate boundary between worlds, but doom awaits those who believe their love will carry them across its threshold. 
