Back to the homestead we go! We'll get along great if you stand *right* over there. "I'm cold and I'm bold and I don't do what I'm told." -Information Society, "Mirrorshades" (1990). Feels like making progress toward the goal is harder than ever. I could let them, but I'd have to charge. "Want something?" -VHS Head, "Frozen" (2014) There's not too much you can do about, they're eventually going to find a way in. "We wanna invite you to go hunt with us." Don't given 'em the satisfaction, is how! These dogs do *not* have a job. They will be the ones to tell you so. Don't dream it's clover. Thanks for havarting my back, you're a life shaver! My boots! My boots! My controlling shares for my boots! Now that's some good eating! A curious war. The only way to win is not to kill. If you stack one atop the other, you can make yourself a staircase to anywhere. Look to the sky, and you will see, in its vastness, all things. Feel like a winner; where air is thinner; take it from me. Rejections by mail don't get any easier when they come from across the veil. These fun guys are now making all metropolitan stops. We thought today would be a good day for rolling. They want you to know what's in the books; they do not want you to take them. Been a long time gone, Leningrad. Why did Leningrad get the works? Where I'm going, I won't need color to see. Some dogs are created more orb than others. Conviction is a terrible thing to concede. Or angry? Or ready for dessert? Never mind what's fueling my unstoppable flurry of blows. Her witch hat brings all the dogs to the moors. She could walk them, but she'll stay indoors. The morning air's still crisp, best to keep the java warm. Keep your finger on the X button, this sequence is brutal, and it goes on *forever*! It's a very slow dance, but on a truly grand scale. Watch as these even dumber drawings speak to ravenous, feral audience! "When people ask me what I do in the mountains all day," the mole quipped, "I tell them I'm boring!" From purple timber no good thing was ever drank. Fast fashion, you say? Well, they're available for a limited time, I'll tell you that much! The committee of independent consultants has decreed: It kinda seems like an extra city would just be redundant. These raptors are capable of velocities their ancient ancestors could never imagine. Not sure how you can be so salty but not salt your password tables. Feed them, Seymour. Remember, everyone, it's about what your embodying, it's about attitude, it's about transformation! Sometimes, it's nice to visit a theme park whose theme is modest sincerity. Cornifer, from Hollow Knight, explores a cave described as "cold, dark, damp, and stinky." Let me tell you, when these gummies hit, they *really hit!* Birk a bork today, and you'll both bark at a berk tomorrow! Knuckles the echidna said "Fuck TERFs" and it roared across the battlefield from his mech's broadcast system. Why is it that the owner class so frequently don't have any class at all? The bigger they are, the harder these little guys bring them down. Crowds part when I go out on the town with my ball & chain. I don't know where this idea comes from that we're the quiet types. We're chattin' about delicious mortals all the time! Next stop: Exceeding 300 kilometers per hour! Look, everyone, I'm sure one of us is going to crack their ICE eventually! When the only tool you've got is a lever, every problem looks like a fulcrum. All it takes is just one dropship, order yours today! Once upon a noontime sunny, while I pondered something funny, written in a quaint and curious book of a romantic strain — while I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping, as of some one gently rapping, rapping at my window pane. “’Tis the breezy trees,” I muttered, “tapping at my window pane, only this, the wind's refrain.” Owl be seeing you later! "Well, it's very simple. See, if you inflate a balloon and seal it, at which point you've got -1 holes..." "I hope you'll excuse my cheap wit, but the hour is late and it's all I have left." -A humble crow. Maybe you can't take it all with you, but this paraphernalia's gonna let me bring 'em all back! "I never thought so much would happen that I never thought would happen." -Ashleigh Brilliant Two frogs go on a coastal hike. One is bringing the sense of adventure, and the other is bringing the snacks! Just add ears (imperative)! While we're at it, any chance we could get your plow as well? We're going to need some battering rams. Backed by the full faith and credit of the company, some exceptions apply, void where prohibited. A multi-purpose greeting card configured to read, "Hope you had a pleasant recuperation!" This retro aesthetic has a particularly appealing crunch to it! It's like I've got this whole dense orb on my back! Won't anyone take pity on the burdens felt by the powerful? It's almost as though what the heart wants is not necessarily precisely what the body needs. This design is also available on one of our commidi-tees, available in the gift shop! I'm hot 'cause I stayed out in the sun too long. You ain't 'cause you showed reasonable levels of restraint in the face of a fiery sky orb. If you think she's going to make a splash when she hits the waves, wait until you see how big a splash he makes! "Who do I know this man?" -The hosts of Drawfee "Why be among the last to do what's right, when you can be one of the first?" -Ashleigh Brilliant I'm hearing a lot of good things about, I think they're called "Lancers?" All the rage, I hear. Sure, the Moon is a lot smaller than the Sun, but it's also a *lot* closer! "What do we make? Motherfucker, we make *money!*" The future is not yet determined, but we may know ourselves in the present moment. Marx: "Don't you know the emancipation of the working classes can only be achieved by the working classes themselves?" Lenin: "No, but if you hum a few bars I'll try and fake it." Don't count this silly little mouse out just yet! Even so, it's going to be *quite* a climb, with some gnarly battles along the way. "Surely someone can just buy some carbon offsets to make up the difference," they said as they struggled to understand one another. They're technically all woofers, even their tweeter! Whatever they're doing, it's not thinking. Bulma is excited to reveal the DBZ Spacelab to the audiences of Earth. Robots! We're doing our part(s)! "I wonder." -President Lindberg, *The Fifth Element* (1997). I can fix him in post. Things aren't going so hot for these amateur rocketeers! No need for the stick, the carrot's all the incentive anyone needs. United, she sits. Divided, we fall. LOL, owned. "Just make sure you don't leave this one out overnight like you did your last bike." Bears shouldn't walk on sunshine! Not like this! Why work together to accomplish something, when you can shun the company of others and complain to strangers? I think you'll find that the meaning this duel takes depends entirely on where I cleave things. When the worshipers of the Golden Capybara came into contact with the worshipers of the Golden Eggbug, the Golden Horde was born. My health is assured! I'm gonna live forever! "Are these dreams a clutch of stifled memories? Was there something in my mind? There are things they say man was not meant to know... Is this shadow out of time?" -The Darkest of the Hillside Thickets, "Some Things Man Was Not Meant To Know" (2007). Every turn you make, you're heading downward, and yet there's never any bottom. You can't surprise me! My vision's periphery all the way round! *On the Fresh Grave of Your Lifelong Love Who died of Consumption and Being Found the Next Morning Unconscious, Naked, and Nearly Frozen to Death by the Groundskeeper. "Dinosaurs are not dead! Dinosaurs are life!" "Now, you say you spell 'slaadi' with two As? Fascinating." The beauty of analog systems is that you can always given 'em a good hip check if they're not behaving! "Sinuously erect?" Looks, *New Aeon*, you said it not me. These ladies aren't going anywhere. It is the world around them that will change. Reach for the top with the flats of your feet! No? Look, do you want to get into the Field of Reeds or not? "Words are a wonderful form of communication, but they will never replace kisses and punches." -Ashleigh Brilliant How was your commute home? Honey? You can't even call him Mr. Potato Head anymore. Because of woke. Teach a monkey to shoot, and they'll paint on a grimmer, grander canvas for the rest of their lives. The streets of the old city are teeming with schemers, miscreants, and those just trying to get through the day. Lost in an bush with Henry Walton "Indiana" Jones, Jr. Of course I'm going to let him come right back, I'm still wearing his denim vest. I emerged from the disorienting journey changed in ways I could not have anticipated. All I need is water, and fruit, and to impress my friends. It's a tough market out there, no horsin' around permitted. Behold, the first feed manufacturing facility to shift the focus from responding to contamination of the supply to preventing it. Just who is being protected from whom, here? A place for every color and every color in its place (not you, pink). Some voids swallow the light that shine on them, but others wholly deflect it. The centaurs have been over this before, but sometimes the spirit of jazz is too strong to partake in archery. Fortunately, someone brought a spare bow. "If you think about it, Platinum, the whole rest of the world is Sheep, isn't it?" A lizard prince sits in a library, reading, wide-eyed. Machines should do the work. That's what they're best at. People should do the thinking. That's what they're best at. All the armaments known to the artist that are mightier than the sword. SNAKE FARM SNAKE FARM SNAKE FARM These feathered fellows bring the "smash" to "smashing the chains of the oppressed." The essence of the chaotic alignment is a little less conversation, a little more mayhem. Just sit back and let them do all the cutting. Are you telling me that cats dressed as finely as we should feel hunger? Preposterous! Film's future is so bright, we've got to wear shades! "Reach for a book and you touch the stars," they said. "As above, so below," they said. And look at us now! Sure would be a shame if we took these, the only remaining Talismans, into the Valley with us! A multi-purpose greeting card configured to read, "The animals will feel an overwhelming peace descend when you are around." "To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and, whatever you hit, call it the target." -Ashleigh Brilliant They say you can kill over 200 pounds of rabbit and bison with just 1 Bullets card. Is that really true?! "Tutto quello a cui riesco a pensare è prendere altre patatine!" -Every seagull in Venice, probably. Together, these two owls break the law to get justice. Ah, Paris. City of love, city of cake. It would be best if you simply do what these giant women say. These bugs are some next-level moon fanciers, so they deserve nothing less than The Moon, fancier. Four intimidating figures, each a force to be reckoned with, indicates the object of their sinister ambitions. Who keeps so many birds in boxes?! Sunset with the girls. What's not to love? The moon is not a place for people. It will never forgive these people for trying to be Selenites. Ladies! Now available in blue. The jeans are from grandma, the Nintendo is from Uncle Red. Zardoz gets to play Santa this year. The results are surprisingly heartwarming! See how they sparkle, see how they shine, see how you're drawn from yours into mine. A shady ne'er-do-well pulls himself from the ocean only to discover more than he bargained for. A duel is when two people agree that the other person dying is more important that keeping oneself alive. Crimson acid can hear what they're saying to her. This gnome's got a sword, and a dog, and a wardrobe that just don't quit. "Take this milk. Why do we drink *cow* milk? Who was the guy who first looked at a cow and said, 'I think I'll drink whatever comes out of these things when I squeeze 'em!'? Isn't that weird?" -Calvin & Hobbes, 1993-06-14 It's a chimeracle! Oh, they laughed at me at the academy, but who's laughing now?! Hold me closer, dabbing Lancer! Tell us experience that we can earn. The aftermath of deuterium and tritium loving not wisely, but too well. "There is no joy more intense than that of coming upon a fact that cannot be understood in terms of currently accepted ideas." -Cecilia Payne-Gaposchkin If you do it with a twist. Yes, artistically. You have nothing to lose but access to a power supply! Nothing shiny is safe from this clever birb! Surely reading all this trashy gossip isn't bad for me! Arduino? I hardly hippo! Don't get it twisted, the bozo on the horse knows what he did. The material world is behind you. Ahead is the world of spirits. Even your sharpest barbs aren't making it past this armor. It's November, and all around, the natural world is settling into its slumber. Something about them all, can't quite put my finger on it... A couple meets under a starry sky filled with fruit. A crowd of real cool shades-wearing dudes can be found on the streets of Los Angeles 2019. A salamander fires an alcohol-based superhero out of a cannon at William Shakespeare. You know, like you do. Long after the collapse of the imperial core, a long and cryptic shadow is still cast by its ghosts. A man and woman ponder an ord, within which is an alien who ponders them back with an order of its own. From the beyond, further orbs, and further pondering of this pondering. Person: "Guys! What if everyone got replaced by robots and I'm the last real person left?" Narrator: "He was." "In the final analysis, everything depends on everything else." -Ashleigh Brilliant Look, it's just a bunch of little guys! They don't have top-shelf gear, leave 'em alone, don't worry about it! Have you considered... the cheese unknown to science? Yellow his room, with a new yellow curtain, and two yellow eyes, and everything is jaune for him. These are *original* vampire characters, they are *not Dracula*! The light from the early universe is right there, waiting for us to grab it. "The axolotls were like witnesses of something, and at times like horrible judges. I felt ignoble in front of them; there was such a terrifying purity in those transparent eyes." -"Axolotl" (Julio Cortazar, 1956). Look out everyone, Drawfee is being horny on main again, and the community is *wound up*. A multi-purpose greeting card configured to read, "The pets are happy for your safe return." ’Tis now the very witching time of night, when churchyards yawn and hell itself breathes out contagion to this world. Now could we drink hot blood, and do such bitter business as the day would quake to look on. "If we all work together, we can totally disrupt the system" -Ashleigh Brilliant. A pink zebra is looking to get a trio of animals drunk; only the one with the worst judgment is interested. The Great Wheel is the hottest date spot for singles in all of Paris. Lady in stone, her crew made of bone. These dinos are *very* cool. It's hot in this desert, it's boring, and it's time to go home! The future corpses of America face down the power behind the throne. The fruits of the past are delicious today, the fruits of today are delicious forever. These cats are cross, so leave 'em be. A space telescope gazes across a starry expanse at the white-hot chaos of a black hole accretion disk. Such meat and cheese that you'll think you've become titled royalty. These pups don't run! A young witch reads an occult tome by the light of a single very intimidating candle. Three royals ladies, three noble creatures. Loose lips cost souls. A group of 19th century women paint a sitting model. An unfortunate king drowns as a snake and an angel look on in alarm. That grinning cat can't pierce my force field. The next move you make could be your next. Now made with only real ingredients! Cats inspired by box chart a course to become box. Truly, it's good to be alive. An especially fresh fortress is appreciated more by its onlookers than by its inhabitant. Ooh, let's slip that gap! Hell is empty, and all the bastards are here. "After the last sixty million years, I suddenly feel very tired." -Ashleigh Brilliant It is by your hand that the truth will be revealed to you. A celebration of NASA computer Katherine Johnson. "Please turn down the volume or play something other than Drake." A royal crow announces, "Hooray! A brand spankin' new place to work!" A dog is astonished. The sages agree: Ancient Egypt is pretty cool. Now is the springtime of our mild affect made glorious summer by these daughters glam. Don't rate this sports car in terms of horsepower, but rather in terms of cow power. "That is a beautiful occupation. And since it is beautiful, it is truly useful." The Little Prince (1943), on the subject of The Lamplighter. "It's strange, but wherever I take my eyes, they always sen things from my point of view." -Ashleigh Brilliant Two string-instrument artists struggle with and dwell on their art. Mazeppa regrets riding bareback in the company of much wilder ruffians. This place is just chock full of dogs! The painting spoke to me, and only to me, and fell to me to rescue her. The desert is full of strange and wondrous visions. I'll cut more off than a nose before I'm done with you. It's plane to see that it's all geometry. Jack's lucky chucks attack Waluigi's semi-wahtomatic wahndgun. Some vampires being spooky, in a glamorous, aspirational way. "It’s not the job of the artist to give the audience what the audience wants. If the audience knew what they needed, then they wouldn’t be the audience. They would be the artists. It is the job of artists to give the audience what they need." -Alan Moore, 2007 These ladies in red are the belles of the bug ball. "Don't do something we're both going to regret." Good? Bad? She's the girl with the gun. Blind albino eggbug, ravenous, cloaked in a darkness never once touched by sunlight, must attack each turn if possible. Ain't no rule say that dogs can't take baths. A whale's song is sometimes a plea to find a point of reference. Behold some freaks who always thinks with their tentacle ganglia. The museum of the French mint provides a showcase of the cheddar them French been gettin' for two millennia. Where'd you get those creepers?! Think about it. Have you ever *seen* your skull? Or anyone else's, for that matter? What girls want: Trash & Cats. "Did you know? It is impossible to outrun your own reflection." -Celeste (2018) Electric mice are able to metabolize both direct calories and alternating calories. "Normal times may possibly be over forever." -Ashleigh Brilliant "There's freakin' cats everywhere, dude." -Jacob Andrews "Did you know? Most climbing mishaps occur due to exhaustion. Remember to take regular breaks!" -Celeste (2018) This ad dares to ask: What is Napoleon... was a refrigerator? "All the evidence concerning the universe has not yet been collected, so there's still hope." -Ashleigh Brilliant The Knight brandishes its nail as it is borne by the Last Stag into the deepest, buggiest corners of Hallownest. Auber on fiddle, K. K. Slider on guitar, Snake on flute, Turtle on drums, Oryx on lyre, Prizmatik on pipes, with vocals by Cool Cow. Look at these little scamps! What possible trouble could they get into? (Narrator: They would get into a lot of trouble.) In the mind of the creature, fly away from here, from this human cognition to the Umwelts that are near. Three buggy judges stand before you, prepared to judge whether you be bug enough. Are the arms I'm supposed to take up against a sea of trouble... the very arrows I've already had the fortune of receiving? "I have just discovered the truth, and can't understand why everybody isn't eager to hear it." -Ashleigh Brilliant A multi-purpose greeting card configured to read, "I will eventually invent a time machine." "I mean, you're not doing it now, either." You don't know what you ask, traveler. My spiciest takes will kill a dragon, let alone a host. You'd better go to a guest that shares milder takes. A couple of sketchy characters find their way to the far side of the moon. Three dogs in a circle greet one another. Hop in your time machine and come to the Bad Apple, serving customers from 2011 to 2012. "It is unbelievable that this stubborn darkness, this eternal eclipse, this flaw in geometry, this eternal cloud on virgin truth can be endured." -Farkas Bolyai, c. 1825. People go in one end, chosts come out the other. All we do is turn the handle. In case of rampaging wall emergency, break Aleph. It's the landing. “They are real, and that’s why I will never work out that hard again, because nobody wanted to believe they were real." -Nicholas Cage, 2022 Is this a dog I see before me? Or is it three? Seems, nay, 'tis a split in my vision. A continental mystic of some notoriety seeks to complete a quest amidst an array of assets and obstacles. Bet I can fit this whole book in my mouth! "The Thousand And One Nights is not something which has died. It is a book so vast that it is not necessary to have read it, for it is a part of out memory." -Tim Rogers (2020) quoting Eliot Weinberger's (1984) translation of Jorge Luis Borges (1980). It's a cloudy day, but this kitty's not going to get caught unprepared. A winged strawberry floats above a windmill in a snow-blanketed cityscape. Nobody can resist your Stromboli dynamism. L’ENRÉGISTREMENT ÉLECTRIQUE LE PLUS PERFECTIONNÉ Every zoo is a heavy petting zoo if you're brave enough. Orbs, orbs in all directions! All soft horses, no straight lines. A multi-purpose greeting card configured to read, "Everyone is delighted that we're bound by that pact." The quest for knowledge is an infinite game played by finite creatures. "Why'd they make that drawer so hot?!" The world isn't getting smaller. Every part of it is simply accelerating toward you. "When a man tries to see into the distance, what does he do? He narrows his eyes." -Katsuhiro Otomo, 1987 A royal crow announces, "Hooray! A significant personal accomplishment!" A dog is astonished. Three eggs. Or is it four? A man peers up at the James Webb Space Telescope, far beyond the Moon. "What we all dread most is a maze with no center." -G. K. Chesterton, 1913 Two masked and robed individuals recline in a gondola, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A portrait of Bonaparte remains trapped halfway between the sketch and the render. The capybara is a singularly luminous animal, and space aliens have concerns. A single powerful tome can have the weight of a whole stack of fluff. You have been greeted by an inhabitant of the Moon. A man grasps at an arrow in his back, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." The animals are immune to rhetoric. An angel points at a skull, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A multi-purpose greeting card configured to read, "It's time to sleep in to commemorate the New Year!" A man creates/discovers the world, while a giant speaks/is silent. Several unnerving horse-like entities. The hottest take of all time is also literally the most superficial. Seven knives pierce an apple, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." They call me Pitopotamus, my kisses are bottomless. Three amniotes are enthusiastically ready for things to get weird. A multi-purpose greeting card configured to read, "Will you explain your mind?" A postal cat swipes at a postal rat, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A dog dreams, calmly and cozily, of what it is like to be a dog. A harlequin reclines on bench below the stage. Birds are made creepier by their unknowable secrets. Cats playing golf, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A multi-purpose greeting card configured to read, "According to this article I read, 84% of people are thankful for your existence!" A man is nuzzled by a sphinx. Amish women rise a horse-drawn carriage into Intercourse, Pennsylvania, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A cowled girl with a battle axe races across a tennis court to seek revenge as Ayk Danroyd looks on. A shadowy figure beside a table looks out over a desert, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." Cats demonstrate a variety of emotions through pose, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A person holding a brilliant lantern aloft, with a speech bubble saying, "holy crap." Movie poster for Manon Des Sources, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A tuxedoed gentleman appears with a winged alchemical symbol. Eight ants circle on a Moebius band, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A multi-purpose greeting card configured to read, "The animals are eventually going to confirm my suspicions." Opus the penguin tries and fails to fly, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A person stands with their head bisected, with a speech bubble saying, "holy crap." A green monkey clutches his bananas, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A multi-purpose greeting card configured to read, "It's time to perfunctorily send a card for Halloween!" A giant squid with a chicken's head attack's attacks fictional submarine The Nautilus, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A wanderer stands above a sea of fog, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A man crouches in order to demonstrate to a dog how to defecate. A surfer tips off the crest of a wave, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." Dr. Strange is attacked by a monster, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A mysterious woman nibbles at a butter biscuit. A multi-purpose greeting card configured to read, "The animals will reflect on our shared humanity until the world forgets our names." A sixteenth century depiction of an autopsy, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A Hippopotamus cast in bronze, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A wolf looks on. A multi-purpose greeting card configured to read, "Will you accept my emotional outburst?" A man holding a and puppet aloft, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." Various dogs, with an imperative to "Vote Dog." A multi-purpose greeting card configured to read, "Just a friendly note to say how are you!" Two theatrical stars are pressed into a dispute over a crown, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." Saint George, having broken his lance, swings a sword at a dragon, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A Chinese print of a bird, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." A multi-purpose greeting card configured to read, "Hope you will have a successful semester!" The Eiffel Tower, manipulated to appear upside-down, with a speech bubble saying, "oh no." 
