"Don't get well too soon. Your suffering is an inspiration to us all." -Ashleigh Brilliant "SAMUS: Ridley killed my parents. RIDLEY: One time!" -Awkward Zombie (2014-09-21) Think I might need both hands for this one. A sword hath sharpness to slay a savage beast, or butcher innocent folk. Any magic worth doing is worth doing in jealously-guarded secrecy. Our hero is about to shine out like a shaft of gold when all around it is dark. It don't matter where you parade. You better plan for rain, just in case. "One well-placed bomb could ruin my whole day." -Ashleigh Brilliant It's going to take a lot more than that to stop them. Beware those who worship aesthetics but seem to have very little to say of substance. Everything old is new again, so in a way, there's already a preliminary chart of the territory. Yours is fine, though. Nothing wrong with yours being smaller. "You want me to do what? No way, get meow'da here." Surely, this will be sufficient! (It wasn't.) The trick is to work to keep their disorganization from becoming a feature rather than a bug. A curious war. The only way to win is not to kill. Invaders beware: This Kasbah's ready to rock back. This little cloud of mine, I'm going to make it thine. Let me tell you, when these gummies hit, they *really hit!* Crowds part when I go out on the town with my ball & chain. When the only tool you've got is a lever, every problem looks like a fulcrum. I'm hearing a lot of good things about, I think they're called "Lancers?" All the rage, I hear. "What do we make? Motherfucker, we make *money!*" All it takes is a bit of the old one-two, one-two! Watch as I inject this code straight to its root. Marx: "Don't you know the emancipation of the working classes can only be achieved by the working classes themselves?" Lenin: "No, but if you hum a few bars I'll try and fake it." United, she sits. Divided, we fall. LOL, owned. Raise the iron curtain on the first of many acts, but never lower your guard! I think you'll find that the meaning this duel takes depends entirely on where I cleave things. In today's 'Feat Head-To-Head,' we'll be comparing two different options for spicing up your NPCs Come to the fortified city of Provins, guaranteed to be safe from armies with small-to-moderate siege capabilities! "Come closer. Closer." (Whispers in your ear) "Now fight me like a man." These ladies aren't going anywhere. It is the world around them that will change. The centaurs have been over this before, but sometimes the spirit of jazz is too strong to partake in archery. Fortunately, someone brought a spare bow. The essence of the chaotic alignment is a little less conversation, a little more mayhem. Just sit back and let them do all the cutting. A charging armored knight is no match for a nude longbowman whose aim is true. From blunt force all sharp things are made. "To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and, whatever you hit, call it the target." -Ashleigh Brilliant They say you can kill over 200 pounds of rabbit and bison with just 1 Bullets card. Is that really true?! Together, these two owls break the law to get justice. A duel is when two people agree that the other person dying is more important that keeping oneself alive. This gnome's got a sword, and a dog, and a wardrobe that just don't quit. The aftermath of deuterium and tritium loving not wisely, but too well. A salamander fires an alcohol-based superhero out of a cannon at William Shakespeare. You know, like you do. For thousands of years, cats have had homes. Now, they have demands. A diminutive kobold is ready for training with the swordmaster. Three imposing figures consider their respective blades. Assassinate the Imperator with the power of light! Link meets his match in the Sword Hoarder. Few people today realize that King Charles the First had specialized in dual-wielding. Good? Bad? She's the girl with the gun. One, two! One, two! And through and through the vorpal blade went snicker-snack! She left it dead, and with its head she went galumphing back. Are the arms I'm supposed to take up against a sea of trouble... the very arrows I've already had the fortune of receiving? A continental mystic of some notoriety seeks to complete a quest amidst an array of assets and obstacles. Swan atop the battlement, Goose down on the pavement. Five enemies defeated and only one round left to defeat the resulting sadness. Kings and queens brandish their weapons, but in a sensual way. A cowled girl with a battle axe races across a tennis court to seek revenge as Ayk Danroyd looks on. 
