"Text me back in like 30. I'm watching that episode of SpongeBob where he has a 3-day rager with his jellyfish." -Alfred Pennyworth Ponder it, won't you? Ponder the eternal and beautiful orb, seen across so many orders of magnitude. "I'm just really feeling the 'action' part real intense, like. I could honestly take or leave the 'direct' part." This looks like a job for Claude Chappe, inventor of wireless long-distance semaphore! A serpent of a thousand miles begins with a single mis-step. Like my graduate adviser used to say, if you want to study a good boy, study yourself! "Just make sure you don't leave this one out overnight like you did your last bike." Cut through the air like a hot knife through butter with these fashionable, aerodynamic helmets! Bears shouldn't walk on sunshine! Not like this! "Everything that its developers would need to crank out GranTurismo sleeps in Motor Toon Grand Prix's prehistorically simple action gamey race flow." -Tim Rogers, 2019 Think what you will of these cats, they've certainly thought a great deal about you. If enough of us force ourselves into this box, you won't even be able to tell there's an echo! Maybe y'all better go home, because I'm about to go big. Raise the iron curtain on the first of many acts, but never lower your guard! "In a logic that perhaps no man will ever understand, the true winner is the last to finish the race." -Dr. Nils Hellstrom, *The Hellstrom Chronicle* (1971). "Distance doesn't really make you any smaller, but it does make you part of a larger picture." -Ashleigh Brilliant Who needs spinal column when you've got all this brain power?! Integers! They're only natural! Why work together to accomplish something, when you can shun the company of others and complain to strangers? I think you'll find that the meaning this duel takes depends entirely on where I cleave things.